Yesterday I started on my third cycle of chemotherapy, two weekly injections along with a daily intake of 40 mg. of steroids, a daily injection of heparin and other supplementary drugs. In an earlier blog I mentioned the Irish writer Colm Toibin’s cancer experience and the intensive treatment he has undergone. He very vividly described his experience at one point in his treatment: ‘It was like mixing a major hangover with a major flu.‘ Well, I suppose we draw on our own past experience to describe present experience! But I think I know where he is coming from. There is a heaviness, a disorientation, an inability to find words for your thoughts, dryness and soreness in the mouth. Thankfully I still have no nausea and I had to go to the hairdresser last Friday so the ‘barnet’ is still intact. It’s what we citizens in the Republic of Cancervania are repeatedly told, no two people are the same.
Recently I got to wondering if Jesus was ever ill. We know about the limitations his humanity placed on him. He needed food, water, rest, when cut he bled, finally he was overcome by death. But disease? Max Lucado is in no doubt. In God Came Near one of his most profound books he writes:
‘For thirty-three years he would feel everything you and I every felt. He felt weak. He grew weary. He was afraid of failure. He was susceptible to wooing women. He got colds, burped, and had body odor. His feelings got hurt. His feet got tired. And his head ached.’
I know someone who read this and found it challenging. A bit too ‘near the bone.‘ But is this not what the Incarnation is all about. God coming near in the fullness of humanity while always being fully God. Max goes on:
‘It’s much easier to keep humanity out of the incarnation. Clean the manure from around the manger. Wipe the sweat out of his eyes. Pretend he never snored or blew his nose or hit his thumb with a hammer.
‘He’s easier to stomach that way. There is something about keeping him divine that keeps him distant, packaged, predictable.
But don’t do it. For heaven’s sake, don’t. Let him be as human as he intended to be. Let him into the mire and muck of our world. For only if we let him in can he pull us out.‘
It makes sense. If Jesus was fully human in everything except sin then his immune system was as dodgy as the next man’s ( unless, of course he was one of those people who could say: ‘I’ve never had a day’s illness in my life’ - hmm) and that’s before we get into psychological and spirit disturbance. Evidence of the latter is there as much as the physical limitation.
I’m reading through the Book of Proverbs at present. It’s not the easiest book of the Bible to get your head around. It can seem to be fragmentary, a bit ‘all over the place’, with rapidly changing and seemingly unrelated themes. I found this to be challenging when I preached on a series of passages not long ago. But as with all scripture it is worth hanging in and there are many verses and passages which have been helpful to Christians in gaining insight into the nature of God and His ways. Proverbs 18: 24 has been the inspiration of many a sermon:
‘A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’
If you have friendship like this then you are certainly blessed. But these words have been a great help to many people when even the closest of relationships runs into trouble. Human friendship may fail but there is always ‘a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’ Maybe this is what Paul had in mind when he spoke about God’s plan for us all ‘to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.’ (Roman 8: 29) Jesus is the Big Brother in the Kingdom Family and closer to us than any friend or family member.
That’s easy to say and to write. Do I always feel this? If not, how is this realisation awakened? How does the light dawn upon a soul sometimes in the darkness of doubt, disillusion, disturbance, despair? I was reading Psalm 1 this morning which speaks of the man who is blessed. He is one who ‘delights in the Law of the Lord, and on his Law he meditates day and night.’ (verse 2). What is written concerning our God is vital to our spiritual strength. It is there we get to know about Him but also to know Him. Yes, there are difficulties. Not long ago I led a Bible Study with people with addiction problems. At one point in the discussion the importance of the Bible was emphasised by someone whereupon upon one woman picked up a copy riffled through it and said with some passion: ‘How can anyone read that!’ We have to accept that it is from a position like this that most people begin. But for anyone beginning with Bible reading or struggling with Bible reading the imperative must always be the story of Jesus where we see God in human form, God as he relates to humankind, God as he sympathises with the Bible struggler, God as He came near.
