My first chemotherapy treatment was yesterday, Shrove Tuesday. We have come to think of this as ‘Pancake Tuesday’, a time for feasting prior to the deprivations of Lent. Originally, however, this was a day of contemplation, a time to consider those things that most need to be changed in our lives. The word ‘shrove’ comes from the old English word that carried a sense of confession, penance, absolution. My take on Shrove Tuesday, then, would be an opportunity to aspire to a deeper Christian discipleship, leaving behind self-centredness and half-heartedness and moving towards a fuller expression of devotion to Jesus and a deeper commitment to His ways.
What does that mean for me in this moment, side-lined through ill-health and receiving treatment which promises to be debilitating?
The way I see it is that the fundamental challenges are still there. No matter what my physical condition I am called to stay close to Jesus, standing on the promise that nothing will ever separate me from His love and seeking to be the best witness I can be to the Gospel.
This could be a time of self-absorption. Understandable to an extent but all the more reason to remember others who are affected by my condition. This has changed the lives of Gabrielle, the family, my friends and the congregations I am privileged to serve. These are challenging times for them and I need to hold them all in prayer.
Perhaps most importantly, I do not cease to be a Christian witness. How a Christian lives and suffers is important and, as in days of health and strength, we should never cease our preparedness to respond to any kind of need. The Christian writer John Piper himself a cancer sufferer has written a pamphlet with a challenging, some might say provocative, title: ‘Don’t Waste Your Cancer’. He sees the cancer experience as a time to draw closer to our Lord, to bear a particular witness, and to appreciate more what God can do through a suffering life. I will be praying that my time will not be wasted.
