Still Quarrying 83 - Refined Gold.

Years ago someone said to me: ‘The trouble with being a biblio-junkie is that you accumulate a lot of junk.’  There’s no doubt about that.  The number of times I have bought books not knowing when I would actually read them but convinced that the time would come.  And anyway who knows when they might go out of print?   The result is a pile of stuff unread for years and the scary thing is probably will remain unread after my days are done!  

I have made some inroads into that pile recently.  I came across an unread book by Martin Israel entitled The Pain That Heals: The Place Of Suffering In The Growth Of The Person.   The date of publication is given as 1983 and it is probably around that time that I bought it.    Even my dodgy arithmetic tells me that this was 36 years ago.  Just waiting for this moment to be read?  Possibly but this was a time when I was reading a lot about the place of suffering in the Christian life.  I suppose I still had a notion of the Christian life being if not problem free then certainly free  enough to enable an effective Christian witness.  I was surprised therefore to find a large body of Christian writing that testified to a challenging truth that brokenness in body, mind and spirit undergirded with faith in Christ actually enhanced Christian witness.  

A book by Harry Blamires, a friend of C.S. Lewis, was especially challenging and ultimately comforting.   It was called A God Who Acts and was promoted as an exploration of ‘the hand of God in suffering and failure.‘   At the heart of the book is the conviction that the pattern of Jesus’ earthly life could never be considered to be pain-free or ‘successful’ by human standards.  Only by seeing things through to the bitter end did He know the sweetness of triumph over sin and death.  

My copy is heavily underlined and I’m pleased to say my scribbled comments in the margins are not uncritical.  ‘Your opinion!’ appears more than once and at one point ‘I think you are going too far.‘   Nevertheless, I had never read anything quite like it and it would always appear in my top five of influential books.  

The trouble with this line of thought is that it could lead to an unreasonable glorification of suffering.  Blamires is aware of this:

‘ . . . I fear the complaint will be raised that we are making Christianity a religion of tragedy, perhaps even of despair.  But we are not.  Our immediate aim is to put suffering where it belongs, near to the human heart, because it is near to the Divine Heart; at the centre of man’s realizations, because it is there at the centre of God’s.  And suffering is not all sadness: still less is it despair.  Are the invalids amongst our friends the least inclined to smile?  Have we not sensed a deeper peace, even a deeper joy, on the bed of pain than on the bed of sloth or the bed of lust?  This alone is sufficient to prove that a faith which embraces suffering is not necessarily a religion of sadness or tragedy.’  

Martin Israel takes this further in his conviction that suffering is essential in the growth of an individual towards Christ-likeness.  Does this mean that the only life that is truly blessed is that which is obviously in pain?  I think Israel would argue that despite appearances we all know what he calls ‘the dark side of reality’ if not outwardly then certainly inwardly.  When we recognise this and seek the strength of God to overcome then we are led to greater Christian maturity.  

This rubs us up against the thinking in the Letter To The Hebrews where we are told that suffering is in fact God’s ‘discipline’ designed to lead  us into a deeper relationship with Him and a greater motivation to serve others in need.  It’s there in Hebrews 12: 7-12.   It might sound a jarring note to some but it makes sense of those times when we are most aware of our weakness as times when we appreciate and rely on the strength that only God can provide.   The Apostle Paul saw it that way:  

‘ . . .  I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.‘    (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

This is something that we need to use more in our pastoral care of one another.  The notion that if we are going through times of pain and disturbance then in some way we must have deserved it is still alive in the minds of many.   But as Wayne Grudem points out in his Systematic Theology if Jesus died so that we might be forgiven our sins God cannot be punishing us by sickness and suffering.  We should rather view the dark shadow times in our lives as God’s opportunities to draw us closer to Himself and to make available His resources so that we emerge more fit to be the witnesses He wants us to be.  

That is certainly the way the Apostle Peter looked upon the persecutions that fell upon the Church in her early days:

‘These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.’  (1 Peter 1: 7)

Their suffering was an opportunity to grow as Christian believers and activists as they learned to trust more fully in God and His strength.  So when days of sickness and disturbance fall upon us the question is not ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ so much as ‘How can I use this time to walk closer with Christ and to serve those He loves?’  When Paul was preparing himself for a difficult visit to the Christians in Corinth many of whom had negative feelings towards him he took encouragement from the pattern of Jesus’ life:

‘For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God’s power.  Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God’s power we will live with him to serve you.’  (2 Corinthians 13: 4).  

Paul’s faith is a call to us to accept the pattern of Jesus’ life in ours so that we might experience the power of God that is our strength to reach out to those in need.

Still Quarrying 82 - Darkness Not Dark In Christ.

It’s been a long haul and inevitable that I should be interested in the cancer stories of others.  I have written about some of them in the past eight months.  Obviously people of faith have featured most prominently but there have been others not believers but not to be ignored. Men and women who have coped with inspiring inner strength.  The best of those stories are those in which you connect with a ‘voice’, a sense of the person behind the words, a person willing to be honest, open and vulnerable.  The very best are those in which the person shares things they have learned about themselves and about God even while acknowledging the pain, disorientation, weakness and despair. 

What have I learned about myself?  Well, that might be the subject of future blogs.  Maybe.  What is most important is what I am learning about God.  Even as I write this I want to correct that.  Really it’s what I am experiencing about God that is most important.  I’ve always known about God.  It was in my head.  And it would be wrong to say that I have never had profound experiences of God and the love He has shown for humankind in Jesus.  (How I miss that experience in the preaching event that by the grace of God I have made a connection with His eternal truth and through His Spirit is enabling me to share that truth with His people!)  It’s just that some things I feel I have discovered about God on a personal level in the past I have been reluctant to share and to preach.  And these things have become more important, no vital to me in these cancer days.  Yes I have sometimes preached and written about ‘the dark side of God’, His judgement, His mysterious providence, His discipline.  (Discipline!? Careful boy.)   But when you get down to it, I have been nervous, reluctant to go there.  

So unlike Paul who in the face of breathtaking revelations from the Eternal World wrote :

‘To  keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’

(2 Corinthians 12: 7-10)

So unlike Peter who writes of all the blessings we receive in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus:

‘In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.’  (1 Peter 1: 6-9)

So unlike the unknown writer of the Letter to the Hebrews who without asking us to fasten tight our safety helmets and without a tremour of apology writes:

‘Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?  If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.  Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!  They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.  “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”  (Hebrews 12: 7-13)  

So unlike Jesus who knew that heavy almost soul-destroying darkness in Gethsemene such that His whole constitution - body, mind and spirit - threatened to come apart completely.  And yet Luke tells us that an angel was sent, an emissary from the Eternal World, to strengthen Him, to assure Him that the ‘cup‘ was worth the tasting for herein lay the salvation of the whole Universe.   Who sent the angel?  His Heavenly Father, who loved Him.  It’s what the Psalmist says:   

‘If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”  even the darkness is not dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.’  (Psalm 139: 11-12)

It may not be a perfect application for a man with cancer but it’s a truth that needs to be grasped.  The Psalmist is celebrating the eternal presence of God in every circumstance.    The darkness is not dark to Him.  He is present in the darkness working out His perfect and  loving will.  

Even Gethsemene did not see the end of  testing for Jesus.  Many have been the attempts to soften the moment of Jesus’ dereliction, His anguish at the abandonment of God while He died on the Cross.  He had read the Psalm.  He had probably memorised it as a boy in the synagogue.  God help us to understand, He even inspired it from all eternity as the second person of the Trinity.  But now He experienced it, as one us, God in the flesh but still he cries out the most gut-wrenching words in the whole of human history:

‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’  (Psalm 22: 1)

In a preaching I heard from Professor Donald Macleod he once referred to the humanity of Jesus and how He identified with us completely even to the extent of knowing the loss of God.  ‘Tis mystery all!  The immortal dies,’ wrote Wesley in one of the greatest of all hymns.  And although some people don’t like to sing it Stuart Townend is right to invite us to sing: 

‘How deep the Father’s love for us,

How vast beyond all measure,

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss –

The Father turns His face away,

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory.’

‘The Father turns His face away.’  He saw this moment from all eternity, the moment of redemption for the whole Universe, the moment of redemption for me, through the suffering of the Son He loved. And Father take away my nervous reluctance to go there, You not only saw it You willed it for the humanity You loved.   A more courageous man than I, the Apostle John, said: ‘God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only son so that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.‘ (John 3: 16)

 Another one,  Paul:

 ‘He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.  Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’  (Romans 8: 32-39)

Out of his love for us he did not spare His Son and from this we can sing:

Nor death nor life, nor earth nor hell,

nor time's destroying sway,

can e'er efface us from his heart,

or make his love decay.

I understand the difficulty in going down this road but please stay with it.  A minister made the headlines not too long ago when he said that believing that Jesus died for our sins on the cross is ‘ghastly theology’.  In stating this he struck at the core of my faith.  What sustains me at present  is the assurance that God has loved me so much that He did not spare His only Son to deal with the darkness of sin that separates me from Him and assures me of a place in his Eternal Kingdom.  So whatever darkness falls has not pushed God out or His love.  The darkness is not dark to Him.  The light of His loving purpose is at the core moving my life according to His pace towards the completion.  

I don’t know ‘the reasons why’.  Neither did that man I dare to call my brother, the Apostle Paul.  He looked forward to the Day when all that was unclear would be made clear.   It’s there in 1Corinthians 13.  Read it.  And not just the bit they read at weddings. 

 ‘Now we see but a poor reflection in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.’  (verse 12).

I’m amazed that I’ve written so much recently and not mentioned Ron Dunn, an American pastor, who experienced much darkness in his life but was a powerful witness for his God revealed in Jesus.  In his book When Heaven Is Silent he speaks about living with the question ‘why?’  He says something quite astonishing.  With all he has gone through and it is more than most of us will ever be called upon to endure he believes that at the end of all things when he comes into God’s presence in all the wonder and the glory the questions will not matter.  I’m with him.

The question for me and Patient Reader for you too is for this moment.  How deeply do we really know this God revealed through Jesus?  Oh and there is another question, how far do we trust Him?  This God whose darkness is not dark, whose love will never efface us from His heart, whose love will never decay, whose good purpose is moving on through the worst.  Ron wrote:

‘I confess I’m still trying to get an answer to my ‘why?’.  And I’m still getting the silent treatment.  But it’s all right.  I trust Him.’

I’m with Ron.  

Still Quarrying 81 - Preparing For The King.

I managed to sit through the Downton Abbey movie the other day.  It brought to mind a conversation I had with my English teacher at school.  I told him that Jane Austen was ‘not my scene.’  Through a pained expression he said: ‘Not your scene?  You mean it is not your cup of tea?’  I may say that I changed my mind about Miss Austen.  A few rough edges knocked off my sensibilities and I realised she was actually pretty good.  But I’ve still got a way to go with Downton Abbey.  Whether ‘scene’ or ‘cup of tea’, it’s not mine.

You probably know the basic plot.  King George V and Queen Mary are to visit the Crawley family and while the preparations reach fever pitch various sub-plots simmer away.  Everything has to be as near perfect as possible for the coming of the King.  

It’s still that way with a Royal visit.  My two years at Glasgow Cathedral saw the visit of the Queen Mother to present new colours to the St John’s Ambulance Association.   Security preparations started weeks in advance and were tight on the day itself.   My earliest experience  of a Royal visit, however, was in 1962 when King Olav V of Norway made a state visit to Scotland.   On his way to the Fairfield Shipyard he was to pass through Pollok so plans were made for my school to line part of the route down Braidcraft Road.  We spent a whole morning learning interesting facts about Norway and making Norwegian flags to wave.  In the event the KIng’s motorcade just flashed by us.  I caught a brief glimpse of a bemedalled  chest and that was that!

In the apostolic mindset the Christian life was a preparation for the coming of the King.  And that Day would not be a fleeting experience:

‘Look, he is coming with the clouds and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him ; and all peoples on earth will mourn because of him.  So shall it be! Amen.’  (Revelation 1: 7)  

This would be the climax of God’s plan for the whole of human history, the birth-pangs of the present having given way to a glorious New Creation.  It would be a Day of Judgement when everything that has ever cast a shadow on human experience would be removed and goodness, justice and love would be established for all eternity.   There are some breathtaking descriptions in the visions of the prophets and apostles:

‘The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God. Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way;  say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”  Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. ‘ (Isaiah 35: 1-6)

‘Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!’’  (Revelation 21: 1-5)

This places the Church in between times, a waiting people.  We wait in confidence that the world will not end with a whimper but in the celebration of glorious climax which Paul seeks to convey:

‘Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.’  (1 Thessalonians 4: 13-17)

It is for this great completion that we wait as the people of God.  In the meantime, however, we are called to live as people who already inhabit the Kingdom of God, to give the world glimpses of what it means to live in harmony with the Father’s values, with the Spirit in our hearts, living in Christ.  We prepare for the coming of the King not just by waiting in faith but by living as His subjects now.  

Still Quarrying 80 - Every Day A Birthday!

It was good to see Don and Rachel McKie at Dobbies promoting the work of The Brain Tumour Charity on Wednesday which would have been their son Graham’s birthday.   As with many people their bereavement has led to a commitment to ease the pain of others.  One positive that so often emerges from dark and difficult days.  

Something else that caught my attention at Dobbies was the proliferation of Santas, reindeer and silver trees.  This is something of a record for me.  The earliest I have seen evidence of Christmas was the middle of October.  A shop in Dumbarton.   It sure is getting earlier and earlier.  And yet something else came to my mind that I read in a recent Obituary.   Some years ago Free Church Minister Rev Angus Smith made a name for himself nationwide when we lay down on the slip of the Skye Ferry to prevent Sunday Sailings.  But he was also known for his forthright views on a number of subjects and became a favourite ‘rent-a-quote’ for several journalists.  He was once asked to explain why his Church did not celebrate Christmas.  According to one Obituary he ‘growled’:  ‘We celebrate our Saviour’s birth every Lord’s Day.’  

There is something in this.  We have come to associate Jesus’ birth as John Betjeman would say with ‘caroling in frosty air’ and all the other ‘sweet and silly Christmas things’.  But what Betjeman went on to call ‘this most tremendous tale of all’ is not something that can be confined to a few weeks every year.  If God became a human being and lived amongst us then this needs to be at the heart of our personal devotions and our public proclamation.  What would be the implications for the life and mission of the Church if we only sang about the Crucifiction and Resurrection of Jesus at Easter?   And yet if we brought out ‘See! in yonder manger low’ in July it would be regarded as more than just a little odd.  

Now I am not saying that we should have our halls decked with boughs of holly all the year round but every day is a day to remember that in Jesus God became one of us, immersed Himself in our lives with all its joys and sorrows.  He knows what it is like to be human and therefore in our worst of times we can open up to Him in prayer and He understands.   We don’t know for sure who wrote the Letter To The Hebrews but we can understand why the early Church became convinced that his words were the Word of God:

‘Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.  Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.’  (Hebrews 4: 14-16)

Furthermore, it is from the Incarnation (literally the Enfleshment) that we take our model for mission.  Some years ago the former MP and now member of the House of Lords Roy Hattersley wrote an article in which he declared his atheism and opposition to some aspects of traditional Christian morality.  But he conceded that wherever there is suffering in the world, even when it is caused by people’s personal choice, you will find the Church in the forefront of supplying help and support.  This is the immersive mission of the God revealed in the life and ministry of Jesus and He calls His people to show His Kingdom  where they are. Where there is sickness to bring healing, providing a voice for the voiceless, showing there can be a new beginning for lives broken by addiction, proclaiming hope even in the face of death.  

This is why we need to celebrate our Saviour’s birth every day and why I have a small icon of Mary and the infant Jesus close to my study desk.  A reminder that while He was uniquely born of God He took His humanity from a woman subject to all the limitations of flesh and blood.  He is ‘God With Us’.  

So two things came together last Wednesday.   A reminder of the coming of Jesus, though unintended, and the inspiration of people of faith like Don and Rachel working in the midst of a broken world to tell His story and share His love.  

Still Quarrying 79 - Grateful For Wounds.

There have been a number of portrayals of Vincent Van Gogh in movies but surely none surpasses Willem Dafoe in the recent Eternity’s Gate.  Beautifully shot in a hand-held camera, documentary style it gets closer to the heart of Vincent than any I have seen.  Near the end of the movie, as he recovers from the ear severing experience, we see Vincent working on a portrait of his friend Dr. Gachet and at the  same time engaging in a conversation with his subject.  He speaks of the joy that is to be had in sorrow and how ‘an angel is not far from those who are sad’.  He shares his conviction that sometimes illness can heal us and that personal distress is ‘the normal state that gives birth to painting.’  With a smile he says: ‘Sometimes I hate the idea of regaining my health.’  

I think the words are probably taken straight from some of the many letters Vincent wrote throughout his life, principally to his younger brother Theo.   You might think that words like the above are evidence of a disturbed mind but this debt to suffering can often be found in the lives of poets, novelists, painters and other creative types.  The Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgard has written a series of memoirs in which he confronts the dark side of family life in his early years and his own personal demons.  He has said: ‘Reading does not help me understand but writing does.’  The pain leads to writing which itself brings understanding.   (Hmmm.  Is that why people write blogs?)

Simon Weston is another who has found creativity of another sort in personal suffering.  He was on board the Sir Galahad when it was bombed during the Falklands Conflict.   He sustained horrific burns to his face, hands and body to the extent that his mother failed to recognise him when she first saw him in hospital.  But there were deeper wounds which were to cause him greater pain.  The days of rehabilitation were accompanied by debilitating depression, the end of an important relationship, a growing alcohol dependency and powerful suicidal thoughts.  Eventually he found a way back and established the charity ‘Weston Spirit’ to help people like himself  come back from their  worst of times and to face the future with new hope.  Sadly the charity ran into financial difficulties in the early 2000s and had to fold.  But Simon still devotes substantial time and energy to similar charities and is in great demand as a motivational speaker.  

He was once the guest on ‘Desert Island Discs’.  (One of his choices was the theme tune from ‘Match Of The Day’.  Now there’s a man after my own heart.)  He was asked about  the things he was most grateful for in his life.  He mentioned family, friends, doctors, nurses and other health professionals but he rounded it off by saying: ‘But most of all I am grateful for my wounds.  Without them I would not be half the man I am today.’  

There it is again.  This discovery that the worst of times can see the birth of great creativity and personal growth such that you can be grateful that they have come.  Vincent and his mental illness.  Simon and his physical pain and disfigurement.  And don’t forget the Apostle Paul.  I don’t feel I fully understood his attitude to suffering until now.  I could tell you what it is.  But a head grasp is very different from a heart experience.  

In 2 Corinthians 4 Paul speaks of that fundamental Christian experience when God shines the light of His truth into our hearts ‘to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.’  (verse 6)  This is the realisation that in Christ we have found the fulness of God.  But he goes on:

‘ . . . we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.’  (vv. 7-9)

What we see in Christ is the most important revelation we will ever receive, a gate to eternity, and yet we hold it in bodies and minds that are limited and fragile.   There is though for Paul a purpose in this:

‘We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.’  (verse 10)

The death of Christ carried physical pain, mental anguish and spiritual dereliction but from this came the salvation of humankind touching men and woman with the hope of forgiveness and renewal and eternal life.     Similarly from our suffering can come the ‘life of Jesus’ in our words, our attitudes, our values.  As Paul discovered in the rigours of his ministry the weaker he was the stronger became the evidence of Christ in his life reaching out and touching the lives of others:

‘For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.’  (vv. 11-12)

If I am hearing Paul correctly he is saying that sometimes we have to be cut back in order that Jesus may be more fully seen and heard and experienced through our lives for the benefit of others.  Remember that startling image in John 15: 1-4 of the Christian being like a vine and God  with His pruning knife cutting us back to make us more fruitful, more like Jesus.     In that sense Paul would understand Vincent being grateful for his illness and Simon for his wounds.  

This leads Paul to conclude:

‘Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.’  (verses 16-18)

Now we are getting close to an issue that I have touched on before and which some have found disturbing.  The whole question of the purpose of suffering and whether God can ever be regraded as its source, even if there is a good end in view.   We’ll get back to that. Trust me!    For the time being, let’s once again remind ourselves that under God some of the most powerful Christian witnesses have been those who have suffered greatly and who have testified to the loving purpose of God in that experience.  Some have been mentioned in my quarryings.  People though ‘jars of clay’ have been given the opportunity to show the glory of God in their service to others.  People who were convinced that ‘an angel is not far from those who are sad’ and who in the end were grateful for their wounds.  

Still Quarrying 78 - Cerebral Space Dust!

Do you remember Space Dust?   You used to get it in the Penny Tray (that great repository of E numbers and promoter of tooth decay) in the sweetie shop.   It was a bit like sherbet but when you sprinkled it on your tongue it sparked and fizzed.   It comes to mind quite often at present.  I feel as if someone has sprinkled Space Dust on my brain.   It’s probably due to the new medication, the biggest drawback being my lack of concentration.   When I am reading my mind seems to slide over the words without gaining much of a foot-hold.  The result is that that sacred principle of finishing what I have started has had to be abandoned.  

My Bible reading has been affected but I am too long in the tooth now to beat myself up about that.  The thing to do is to cut back.  Focus on a short passage, maybe even one verse, and pray that the Holy Spirit will work it into your inner being.  A colleague was once in hospital  and feeling very low.  He opened up his heart to a trusted friend, especially the difficulty he had with prayer.  ‘Don’t you think the Lord understands how you feel at present?’ was the response he received.  

I’ve never forgotten that.  Sometimes we need a nudge to open our Bibles or to create some space in the day for dedicated prayer.  But when you are ill, low in energy, wayward in concentration, befuddled with medication, that’s when we need to bear in mind that our God is not a dark, threatening shadow looming over us but the Shepherd who makes us lie down in green pastures, leads us beside quiet waters and restores our souls.  

Still Quarrying 77 - Sawtooth Experience.

After the success of the ‘harvesting’  it was disappointing to get the news that there has been an increase in the ‘bad stuff’ in my blood.  This means that more chemotherapy is required before I can go forward to transplant.   To go forward now would diminish the chances of a good remission.  

Eugene Peterson once wrote of ‘the sawtooth history of Israel’, how there were times when the people were ‘up’ with God and times when they were ‘down.‘   Going through the cancer experience can be like that but really that is much like the Christian life in general.  I was reading 2 Corinthians 1 recently and was struck once again by Paul’s account of experiences he had had in ‘the province of Asia.‘   He doesn’t go into detail but writes:

‘We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death.’  (2 Corinthians 1: 8-9)

But in all the sufferings he had to deal with Paul never doubted God’s presence and that His loving purpose continued to unfold even in the worst of times:

‘But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.’  (2 Corinthians 1: 9-11)  

We struggle with the idea that God might actually be the source of the troubles we have to endure, whatever good He may intend in those troubles.  Let’s leave that aside for the time being.  What is clear, however, in the testimony of people of faith in Scripture and beyond is that God is present in our troubles and able to take us forward according to His loving purpose.  I was reading just this morning:

‘The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped.’  (Psalm 28: 7)

Last Sunday I managed to get out for the morning service at Strathblane Parish Church.  Under the ministry of my friend John Wilson I had a strong assurance that I would get through these days and return to ministry.  Then the next day came the news that further chemotherapy would be needed.   The ‘sawtooth’ experience of the Christian life.  Up and down.  And the question arises, how do I hold the two together?   The way forward is to take to heart the words of Moses to the escaping Hebrew slaves as the shadow of the Egyptian army fell on them:

‘The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.’  (Exodus 14: 14)

It’s a blessing to keep company with voices of faith like this.   Those who knew that even in the ‘downs’ of the sawtooth God is fighting for us, actively taking us forward according to His good and loving purpose.