Still Quarrying 109 - Inner Space.

I feel blessed in being just a few minutes away from beautiful countryside.   Yesterday Gabrielle and I drove to Killearn and had a walk in the Spring sunshine.  It was good to see others with the same idea breaking out of the ‘self isolation’ that is now an important part of our lives.  We also noticed more cyclists on the road than usual.  My guess is that some would be home workers having a break.

The experience of being hemmed in was familiar to David.  We read time and again in the Psalms of pressure brought to bear on him by enemies, sometimes quite literally restricting his movement.  Psalm 18 speaks of a time like this but God intervened on his behalf and: 

‘He brought me out into a spacious place;

 he rescued me because he delighted in me.’  (v. 19)

Again in Psalm 31 he speaks of a similar experience and he praises God: 

‘You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.’  (v. 8)

We can speak of this in physical terms.  David is once again able to move freely, to break out of the restrictions place on him by those who meant him harm.  But you cannot escape the sense of inner release.  Spiritually he is able to breathe again.  He has been released from the oppression of anxiety and fear.  His inner life has become a ‘spacious place.’  

That kind of inner space will become important for us all in the months ahead.  Every day seems to bring more restrictions on our lives.   Freedoms that we took for granted are having to be given up as the crisis deepens.  That can affect our inner lives.  We will need to create space to breathe in the reality of God.  

People have sometimes spoken of their souls ‘expanding’ as they take in the beauty of creation, listen to sublime music or drawn into a great book or work of art.  Christians have described worship in this way.  As we gather with other believers to pray, listen to the Word and share the Lord’s Supper it seems as if a door is being opened to a deeper reality in Christ.  We are now having to set this aside for the time being but that inner expansion is possible with the resources we still have.  In one of his songs Bob Dylan speaks of feeding his soul with thought.  We can still feed our souls with the Written Word, with prayer, with the voices of faith arising from the world wide Christian community.  All of this is proof against a spiritual shrinkage that could lead to frustration, anxiety and depression.  

This morning I was reading Mark’s account of the Resurrection of Jesus.  It’s not hard to imagine the heaviness of heart experienced by the women as they went to the tomb even apart from the the practical problem of who would roll away the stone.  But then they encountered God’s messenger in the tomb, an experience that took them beyond their sadness and anxiety.  The Word of God breaking in which would later expand their souls:

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.  But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’ ”  (Mark 16: 6-7)

It didn’t all come together for them immediately.  Mark describes them in the aftermath of their experience as trembling, bewildered and afraid.   But this would later give way to an assurance that they were now forever in God’s ‘spacious place’ where they could breathe in the reality of His love and power revealed in the Resurrection.  Something they would later  experience  in whatever circumstances threatened to hem them in.  

That can be our experience if we stay close to the promises of God.  I wish for you all ever expanding souls through the Word, prayer and community.

Still Quarrying 108 - National Day Of Prayer And Action

It’s good to see that Church leaders throughout the UK have come together to call for a National Day Of Prayer And Action this coming Sunday.  I was writing yesterday of David’s Godward instinct in the midst of  his troubles.  You can hear the urgency in his words: ‘My heart says of you, “Seek his face”. (Psalm 27: 8)   We can see his face in Jesus who reached out to the sick, comforted the bereaved and in the end gave hope even in the face of death.  It is to this God that we turn in this present crisis, a God who has connected with humankind and who is seeking to redeem the universe from every dark influence.  I am continually drawn to Paul’s vision of Jesus at the end of all things cleansing the universe of every dark influence and handing it over perfect to His Father.  (1 Corinthians 15: 24)   So when we pray for the sick and the bereaved and those who are in the forefront of care we are uniting our hearts with His purpose.

To this end it is also appropriate that the National Day of Prayer And Action should be a time of self-examination.  When Jesus heard about ‘Galileans’ whose slaughter Pilate ordered as they were sacrificing in the Temple he refused to follow the popular notion that the dead were worse sinners than anyone else.  (Luke 13: 2)  But he saw this atrocity as an opportunity for men and women to consider the fragility of their own lives and where they stood with God: ‘. . . unless you repent, you too will all perish.’  (Luke 3: 3)   He sees a recent tragedy in the same way.  Eighteen people died when a tower in Siloam fell on them: 

‘ . . . do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem?  I tell you, no!  But unless you repent, you too will all perish.  (Luke 13: 4-5)

That word ‘repent’ is often regarded in a negative way, thundered by near psychotic preachers to terrorize sensitive souls.  But really it’s essential meaning is simply a wholehearted turning to God from ways that are harmful to others and to ourselves.  Jesus uses two catastrophic events to remind people of the end of all human life, that we are all destined to stand before God and what then will be the condition of our inner lives?  Wholeheartedly turned towards Him?  Or otherwise?

I was on the phone yesterday to one of the busiest men I know.  His wife is one of the busiest women I know.  They both agree that this time of cancelled meetings, appointments and journeys has slowed the pace of their lives and enabled them to take stock in a way not possible for many years.  A new sense of appreciation of what really matters has come to them.  

I could say the same about the cancer experience from diagnosis through treatment and now recovery.  You have to slow down, live with yourself, perhaps discovering things that were obscured in the busy-ness of life and need to be changed.  And it doesn’t do any harm to be stripped back spiritually, to feel fragile and exposed,  because that’s when you come to the place where the words of the old song sum up everything within you: ‘Where could I go but to the Lord?‘   And with Him there is forgiveness, renewal, hope and strength to love those who are lovingly caring for you.  

I hope all of this will come together in the National Day Of Prayer And Action.  It will be good to hold others in prayer but also to lay open our lives before God and to seek those changes within ourselves that will make us more consistent citizens of the Kingdom.

Still Quarrying 107 - 'I've got confidence . . .'

I’m back with David this morning in Psalm 27 and again he is up to his ears in trouble.   Things are threatening to get on top of him.  He speaks about ‘evil men’ seeking to devour his flesh, enemies attacking him, armies besieging him.   Circumstances where it would be understandable if he became paralyzed with fear.   But because of his closeness to God David has reason not to fear and to have confidence for the future:

‘Though an army besieged me, my heart will not fear;

  though war break out against me , even then will I be confident.’  (verse 3) 

It’s really all about the strength of his inner life, arising from his relationship with the living God.  It is astonishing that in the midst of life-threatening troubles his one great desire is to keep company with the God he knows and loves.  In Him is the source of David’s security and strength:

‘One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:

 that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

 to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

 he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.‘   (verses 4-5)

This is the great imperative of David’s life summed up in v. 8:

‘My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”

 Your face, Lord, I will seek.‘  

With this in mind the final affirmation of Psalm 27 is understandable:

‘I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.’  (vv. 13-14)  

There is an old Gospel song which has the refrain:

‘I’ve got confidence 

 God is gonna see me through,

 No matter what the case may be

 I know He’s gonna fix it for me.’

It’s very simply put but it’s not that far from the faith of David or indeed that of the Apostle Paul.  Men whose hearts said “Seek His face” and knew a strength beyond their own strength and a peace that passed all human understanding.  Paul was convinced that the love of the God who did not spare His only Son for the good of us all would never be extinguished.  He expected shadows to fall on human experience  but never on God’s love for humankind.  This is the heart of faith.  Knowing this God and trusting Him ‘no matter what the case may be.’  

Still Quarrying 107 - Strength In God.

Much has been written about the Psalms and how they often reflect raw human experience and yet bring a deep sense of assurance in the midst of the worst.  That came home to me afresh this morning as I was reading Psalm 25.  We can’t be sure what exactly David was going through at this time but he is certainly under great pressure.  You get an idea of his inner pain in vv. 16-21:

‘Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.  Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.  See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me!  Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.  May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you.’

And yet the Psalm is not just about David sharing his pain with us.  He is opening himself up to his God in whom he trusts.  He begins by saying:

‘To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God.’  (vv. 1-2)

Despite his troubles he has confidence in the God he knows and has experienced working in  his life.  The God who has revealed His truth, who has guided, who has shown mercy and forgiven, who has given hope and assurance.  

It’s a lesson to me in these bewildering days in which we find ourselves never to allow the weight of trouble to become so heavy that I cannot lift my eyes to the God who has revealed Himself in Jesus.  This morning the radio news was all about issues arising from the coronavirus pandemic, how it is affecting people’s lives at so many levels, how things seem set to become worse.  This is when we need to stay close to the ancient voices of faith like that of David who never denied the reality of God whatever his troubles.  At certain times in David’s story we read that he ‘found strength in the Lord his God.’  (1 Samuel 30: 6)  Whatever personal challenges these times have brought us and whatever priorities we are moved to set nothing is more imperative for God’s people than to follow in David’s way.  

Still Quarrying 106 - 'I know . . .'

I thought by now I would have gathered sufficient strength to be at least planning my return to ministry.  But now there is the Coronavirus which has turned all our lives upside down.  I’m regarded as being in a vulnerable group, one of those with ‘underlying health issues.’  Despite the progress made since the stem cell transplant my immune system is still compromised, all my childhood vaccinations have been wiped out, and therefore in the present circumstances the advice is that I practice some degree of self isolation.  Of course this has an effect on the whole family and I am grateful for everyone’s understanding and patience.  Not least my son Paul whose work as a police officer involves constant engagement with the community and will possibly bring him into contact with some who have been infected.  He has found alternative accommodation for the time being.

We are just one story among so many who will be finding this time to be the most challenging of their lives.  Work threatened, studies disrupted, social contacts lost, finances strained.  All of this apart from the effects on health and life itself.   And in face of this the Christian community is called to preach a message of hope.  

On Sunday I read an article by the historian Simon Heffer who describes himself as ‘overtly godless’ and yet is critical of the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby for his lack of spiritual leadership during the present crisis.  He writes:

‘As deaths rose and coronavirus cases multiplied last week, the Primate of All England, spiritual leader of the Established Church, was notably silent.  Given we were being warned of a possible death toll that would remove a higher proportion of our population than at any time since the Great War, did the Almighty’s Anglican vicar on earth have something to say?  He did not.’  

Whether in response to this or because it was in preparation Justin Welby has joined with John Sentamu, Archbishop of York to produce an article printed in today’s Daily Mail.  In this they call upon the nation to embrace the example of the Good Samaritan and to take every opportunity to care for the most vulnerable.  But they go beyond this and stress the importance of prayer and to remember the hope at the heart of the Gospel that speaks of a Saviour who has known the sorrows of this world, even bereavement and death itself, and has triumphed over them:

‘Where someone is ill, encourage them. Where someone dies, remember that, as the foundation of our faith for over 2,000 years, we have believed that God shared the pains and fears of our lives in Jesus Christ, that He faced death, but overcame it. And He is with the bereaved.’

This is close to the message the apostle Paul preached in the midst of personal suffering and the immanence of death.  He wrote to his friend Timothy:

‘I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.’  (2 Timothy 1: 13)

Paul could face his own personal challenges because of his faith in the God he knew, the God who had revealed Himself in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.  To know this God and His love for humankind is to be aware of a hope that can sustain us through the worst of times.  

Still Quarrying 105 - He Reached Out!

Do you remember Hill Street Blues?  It was a popular television series about a police precinct in an unnamed American city.  At the end of morning roll call when Sargent Phil Esterhaus was handing out the day’s duties he would wind up by saying: ‘Let’s be careful out there!‘   It became a catch phrase for anyone working in a community and might be facing challenges.  A friend  of mine who drove a taxi often had it in mind when he set out on a night shift.

It came to my mind when listening to a special television programme on the coronavirus.   It would seem that wherever there are people we have to be careful.  Concerts and sports events are under threat.  In parts of Italy Church services have been cancelled.  At a personal level we are being warned about personal hygiene.  Hands have to washed to two verses of ‘Happy Birthday’; alcohol based hand gel is a must; and we should be wary of touching other people.

There are certain groups that are deemed especially vulnerable not least the elderly and those with underlying health problems.  I suppose that means me - at least in the latter category!  The transplant I underwent has wiped out all my childhood vaccinations.  I’ll have it all done  again eventually but for the time being I’m vulnerable to all kinds of things.  Chickenpox, shingles and flu cold be especially nasty.  And now there is the coronavirus.  

So what do you do?  Well, follow all the advice of course but the worst thing could be the need for isolation.  In the past the message we received from all quarters was that community was something to be desired.  At the moment the message is that we should be wary of it.   Who knows who is behind us in the supermarket queue, beside us at the football match, shaking hands with us in Church.  A few days ago and feeling a bit of cabin fever I thought about going into town to buy a new pair of Doc Martens.  Not a good idea, I was told.  A shoe shop is not a good place to go for a immunodeficient person.   It’s at times like that that you feel the sharpness of restriction.  

I knew a bit about isolation during the transplant and a couple of weeks after discharge.  Confinement is not easy when you are used to being out and about.   There comes a point when the things that usually bring you comfort like books and music and dvds just don’t work.  But as with so many things there is comfort in the Gospels.  

Jesus often reached out to people who were isolated due to ill-health.  There was the woman who had been ‘subject to bleeding for twelve years’.  Because of her condition she was in a constant state of ritual impurity and anyone who touched her would be similarly regarded as impure.  In the community to which she belonged she was not a good person to know.  In touching Jesus, even his clothes, she was taking an enormous risk but Jesus dealt with her kindly and declared her healed.  (Mark 5: 24-34)

Then there were lepers who in many ways were the living dead, cast out from the community, unable to be close to people even in the gatherings for worship in the synagogue.  But Jesus reached out to them, touched them and healed them.  (Mark 1: 40-45)

This is something we should remember about Jesus as He comes to us through the Holy Spirit.  He still has a heart for the isolated and hears our prayers for anyone affected by illness that has placed restrictions on their lives and keeps them enjoying human contact to the full.   We can go deeper with this.  On the cross He knew an isolation that can never be fully appreciated by our finite imagination.  That experience has been taken into the Godhead and those who for any reason feel isolated can be confident of a Companion who sustains and delivers.  

At the end of his life Paul wrote to his friend Timothy about an experience that left him feeling painfully isolated: ‘ . . . everyone deserted me.’  But there was another Presence who endured: ‘But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength . . .’  (2 Timothy 4: 17)  He still reaches out!

Still Quarrying 104 - His Hands.

One of the first medical  television programs I can remember is Your Life In Their Hands.  It was first shown in 1958 but revived at various times through the years.  It’s a good title because to a large extent that is our relationship with the medical profession.  There can come a point either in surgery or drug prescription that our lives are literally in their hands.  When I had a Hickman line fitted before my stem cell transplant a nurse explained to me that there were certain risks involved.  A vein could be nicked, a lung could be punctured, but if anything went wrong: ‘Don’t worry you are in the right place.’  Okay . . . In the event everything went well - and I was complimented for being so calm through the procedure - but it came home to me at that point how dependent I was on the skills and expertise of others.  Sometimes if you want your life to go forward you have to learn to depend on those who know better than you.  

To a large extent dependence is at the heart of faith.  Being practically minded we don’t like to think of faith in an entirely passive way.  What matters is how we work out our faith, how we put it into practice.  But the passive and the active have to be held in balance.  Put it another way.  We begin to work out our faith as we learn to depend on the grace of God.  Only His Spirit can provide us with the inspiration, strength and peace that are needed to live the life of faith.  Too often we put the cart before the horse.  That’s why in the providence of God we are given opportunities to learn more dependence on God.  Sometimes our lives need to be stripped back in order that we appreciate where real quality of life comes from.  And having experienced that life we are renewed in the depths of our being.

In a recent address given at a conference Joni Eareckson spoke of her daily struggles with her quadriplegia.  Voice filled with emotion, she spoke of the days when she woke up saying: ‘God help me I can’t do quadriplegia today.  But I can do everything through His strength.’  This is a soul touching that of Paul who said: 

‘I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.   I can do all this through him who gives me strength.’  (Philippians 4: 11-13)

There comes a point where circumstances strip us back physically, mentally and spiritually.  That’s when we appreciate a strength beyond our own strength.

Jesus’ experience in Gethsemene is a mystery in many ways but as I turn to it I see Him stripped back, brought to the end of Himself.  Not because of the prospect of the physical pain of crucifixion but because of the prospect of appearing before a holy God as the sin of the world and receiving God’s judgement on that sin.  But even as the spiritual black hole opens up Luke tells us ‘An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.’  (Luke 22: 43)  It is then He is able to live His commitment: ‘Not what I will, but what you will.’  (Mark 14: 36)  He can place His life in His Father’s hands.   I read recently of a senior Jesuit who when approaching the end of his life wrote:  

‘More then ever I find myself in the hands of God.  This is what I have wanted all my life, from my youth.  But now there is a difference; the initiative is entirely with God.  It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God’s hands.’  

These things have been on my mind through a challenging few weeks.  I was told that post-transplant I could expect to find my energy at a low ebb from time to time.  I don’t welcome times like this but perspective can bring blessings.  I may not enjoy the spiritual valleys but as the shepherd who became a king once wrote of his God: 

‘I will fear no evil,

 for you are with me;

 your rod and your staff,

 they comfort me.’  (Psalm 23: 4)

My life always  in His hands.