Still Quarrying 195: 'Be Still . . .'

 You try hard not to let the word ‘incurable’ get to you but that is the reality for anyone suffering from Multiple Myeloma.   There is no cure but the condition can be managed through observation and medication.   So after chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant it was necessary for me to attend clinics at the Beatson where blood levels would be monitored.  The pandemic brought this to an end and contact was reduced to telephone calls.  It worked very well and in the early days the news seemed always to be encouraging.  But a phone call in August last year informed me that the ‘bad stuff’ in my blood was on the rise again and I would need to return to 'face to face’ clinics.   It became clear that further ‘maintenance’ treatment would be required sooner rather than later.

It was disappointing given that I was less than two years from the stem cell transplant.  I know another Myeloma sufferer who had ten years before further treatment was required.  But you can’t argue with the test results and the only response is to prepare yourself psychologically and spiritually.   Some verses from the Psalms have been close to me over the past few years:

‘Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

 do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

 when they carry out their wicked schemes.’  (Psalm 37: 7)

The challenge there is to respond in faith when circumstances seem to be getting out of control and there is disturbance within.  The problem for me is that I am not naturally a ‘still’ person.  Some people would regard that as a badge of honour.  ‘None of this sitting about, wasting time, staring into space for me!  I need to be up and doing!’   But what lies behind that?  What motivates the ‘up and doing’?  Someone was once described to me as ‘working on her nerves.’    What might seem to be boundless energy may be the result of some inner disturbance.  Anxiety,  fear, guilt, obsession, jealousy.  These and other impulses can play their part in what the Psalmist calls ‘fretting.’  And it is the opposite of being ’still.’   

I have had to work at it, to practise stillness even when it goes against the spiritual grain.  Like the other day.  Getting ready for the hospital meant remembering to take my pre-treatment medication, making sure my ‘man bag’ had everything I need to pass the time, final conversation with Gabrielle about what to expect from the day.  Then in the treatment room I sit for an hour and nothing is happening.  That is not a complaint.  It’s a busy place and the staff are stretched to keep on top of things.  And they do so with such grace.  So it falls to we patients to wait.  And as I wait I try to practise the presence of God.  

Earlier in the waiting area I had met a fellow patient who was quite agitated.   It was a bad news day for him and he had waited a long time for a vacant treatment room.   At times like this you wonder if you should reach out.  Would a word be welcome?   I thought I would risk it.  And in the end I think he appreciated the contact.  We found ourselves reflecting on the appropriateness of being called a ‘patient’.   Illness is a time when the quality of patience has to be exercised more than any other.   It turned out that this man’s working life had demanded a great deal of patience but in this moment of health crisis he found it to be in diminishing supply.  

I can sympathise.  I cannot honestly say that every set-back and disappointment has been met with serene acceptance.  But the Psalmist does not merely recommend ‘stillness’, he instructs it.   That verse from Psalm 37 gripped me so tightly years ago that I was sure it was something that needed to be part of my spiritual DNA.  It was even accompanied by a tune!  Now there’s a thing.  I may have a facility with words but music?  Obviously this needed to sink deep.  A constant reminder that there is a way through fret, that stillness is possible ‘before the Lord, that we can wait for Him, that His good and loving purpose continues to unfold even through the worst of inner turmoil.   This is not achievable through technique but through remembrance of the God revealed in Jesus, the realisation that we are ‘before’ Him, the ‘bearer of our flesh and frailness’, whose Cross proclaims the value God places on each human soul.   

I find the way forward in an old hymn ‘O sing a a song of Bethlehem’ in which we are encouraged to focus on scenes from Jesus’ life for our inner strength.  

‘O sing a song of Galilee,

Of lake and woods and hill,

Of him who walked upon the sea,

And bade its waves be still:

For though like waves on Galilee,

Dark seas of trouble roll,

When faith has heard the Master’s word,

Falls peace upon the soul.’  

Christmas Baggage.

I can’t remember when Gabrielle and I last went shopping together in the city centre.  But this we did the other day.   After a while we temporarily split up to pursue our own interests and inevitably I ended up in Fopp.  I used to call it my cultural Bermuda Triangle.  Whenever I went there all my money seemed to disappear.  All these CDs and DVDs and books and you just know you have to have this one or that one or your life will be seriously diminished.  

Amazingly I didn’t buy anything but I came away with something else.   The sound system was playing ‘Tiger Feet’ by Mud circa. 1974.  And I was away to discos long ago not least the annual Christmas Dance at school.  

Mud were one of those groups that teenage sophisticates felt obliged to despise.  Teenyboppers peddling bubble-gum music to the less enlightened.  But deep down we knew that at the Annual Christmas Dance we couldn’t have done with Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen.  Come in Mud!  And Sweet!  And Slade!  And even the Rubettes!   This was their night.  

And there I was the other day in Fopp on a cold, grey, miserable Glasgow day deliberately lingering among the displays of CDs, DVDs and books until the fade out in ‘Tiger Feet.’  If it hadn’t been for my mask a co-shopper would have seen me mouthing the words while in my head I was going through all the dance floor moves that once dazzled my contemporaries. Transported I was to the days of feather-cuts, flairs, tank-tops and platform shoes.    All of which scandalised my parents and made the wearing all the sweeter.   Ah the seventies . . .

Maybe it was the Season that did it.  We all carry some Christmas baggage and sometimes it drops, bursts open and out flies the memories whether delightful or painful.   Over the years I suppose I’ve tended to de-sentimentalise Christmas.  I’ve been involved with too many people who at so many levels find it a very painful experience.  Organised fun, nostalgic music and sugary movies are just too much to bear when going through your worst of times.  

On the other hand, it’s hard to think of the birth of a baby born in difficult circumstances , as Jesus was, and not feel something.  The recent cases of horrific child-abuse that have been at the top of our news bulletins recently have been greeted with understandable outrage.   And many a tear has been shed as the stories unfold.  Nothing stirs the emotions so much as crimes against the vulnerable.  Jesus was not abused as a baby or as child growing up.  But in these states He was vulnerable and the wonder is that this is how God chose to reveal Himself to humankind.  There is a place for the loving gaze on the manger but also for the sense of awe that Almighty God is as close to us as any child we have known and loved.  The carols that spill out from shopping mall sound systems have an unfathomable theology: 

‘Lo! within a manger lies

 He who built the starry skies.’

‘Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;

 Hail the Incarnate Deity . . .’  

It is said that the original purpose of the Christmas crib was to enable us to reach into those depths of God’s coming amongst us.  It is attributed to Francis of Assisi.  This was never intended to be a Christmas decoration but a focus for people’s thoughts that they might grasp something of the depths of God’s love for us ‘thus to come from highest bliss/ Down to such a world as this.’    

This is something that can unite us all whether we delight in Christmas or dread it.   John Betjeman’s poem is so often quoted because it sums up what Christmas is for those who believe:

’The maker of the stars and sea

 Became a child on earth for me.’  

However we feel about Christmas 2021 we can find hope in a God who is on our side.  

Prayers For The Week 20

  “Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favour again?  Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?  Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”  Then I thought, “To this I will appeal: the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.  I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.  I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”  (Psalm 77: 7-12)

We can connect with the ancient voice of faith as he experiences disappointment and despondency:

In the struggle back to what we recognise as normal;

In the impact of the pandemic on our lives and the lives of those we love;

In the prospect of future days and the challenges we face as your Church.

But that same voice of faith calls us to the deeds of long ago when You came with power among Your people to raise them up and take them forward.  

In time there would be voices of faith calling believers to  the Cross where the worst of human impulses were displayed and yet was the means whereby Your loving purpose for humankind was fulfilled.  

So bring us to the Cross.

Where in the midst of our struggles we can be assured of Your presence;

Where in our weakness we can be made strong;

Where in our sin we can be forgiven;

Where even in face of death we have hope.  

We thank you that even as the gaze of our Risen Lord reveals what needs to be changed still it holds for us a vision of what we can be and what we will be.  

We thank you that even as we share the brokenness of humanity still by your grace we can show the fruit of the Spirit.

We thank you that even as Your Church seems to falter and diminish still You hold before us the promise that the earth will never be without a witness to Christ.  

We thank you for those we have known now at rest who recognised their inadequacy and yet looked to the Spirit to renew and revitalise.  

We pray for the world-wide Church that she will be powerful in her proclamation and consistent in her living.

We pray for the world that in a time when our limitations are recognised that the need for a Saviour will be intensified.  

We pray for our nation enjoying new freedoms but required still to be cautious.  

We pray for doctors, dentists, nurses and others in the medical world under constant pressure.

We pray for those whose work is to keep us safe: police offers, fire-fighters, government officials, locally and nationally.

We pray for those restricted by pain, burdened by anxiety, desolated by loss.

Prayers For The Week 19

 

Blessed are those you choose and bring near to live in your courts!

We are filled with the good things of your house, of your holy temple.  (Psalm 65: 4)

The day begins and many ways open up to us

Places we can go, people we can see, things we can do.

But on this day followers of Jesus feel the pull of Your Spirit.

Our minds have become fixed on Him and we have chosen to be in this place in anticipation of good things filling our lives.  

We open up our hearts to:

The fellowship the Spirit creates for us;

The fulfilment of Jesus’ promise that He is present in our midst;

The assurance that from Him flows forgiveness for our sins, strength for the challenges of this day, and hope for the unknown days that lie ahead.  

We join with the ancient people of Israel who gathered with confidence that despite the shadows that might fall on their lives good things await those whose hearts a
re turned to God.

We join with the early Christian communities whose hearts were so focussed on the sacrifice of Jesus that they knew that nothing would hinder the flow of love from the heart of God the Father.  

We join with brothers and sisters throughout the world who wait in expectation for Your Voice to speak to us in the depths and for Your Spirit to take us forward and to energise us in the building of Your Kingdom.  

Father, you have set before us the eternal example of self-giving in Jesus Your Son and we praise You today that this has brought us forgiveness, renewal and the promise of a place in Your eternal Kingdom.  

We praise you for those we know who have reflected this self-giving in their lives and have been a blessing to us in practical help, encouraging words and prayerful support.

We praise you especially for those who are now beyond our sight, our touch and our call but who have so much for the advancement of Christ’s Kingdom in their time.

May Your Church throughout the world be a giving people, offering time, talents and money to make known the story of Jesus and the transformative power of His love.

May the nations of the world who can afford to give show a new generosity to those whose homes have been destroyed,  to those who cannot feed their families, to those denied justice.

May our own nation benefit from the Christian witness that continues in our midst so that laws and institutions may be shaped according to Your will.

May those whose health is failing, whose employment is threatened, whose finances are strained, whose care for a loved one has become overwhelming - may all of those receive what is needed to renew hope and faith.

May those within our families and amongst our friends be blessed, kept safe, and aware of the love of Jesus which no circumstance can erase.  

Prayers For The Week 18

 Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.  (Psalm 54: 4)

We thank you for the ancient voices of faith who turn us towards You in those times when our resources are strained.  

In times when pain distracts us and turns us in on ourselves:

‘Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.’ 

In times of anxiety when we are caught up in a whirlwind of emotion:

‘Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.’

In times when bitter experience threatens to take God away from us, even then help us to persist in saying:

‘Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.’

Father, enable us to see that all of this is the experience of Jesus, born as one of us, our brother, our friend, who is heaven today carries the pain, the emotion, the anguish that so often falls to us.

The One who in the power of His Spirit comes to us when we need help to sustain us and take us forward in strength and in hope.  

Forgive us our lack of faith in His Spirit and bring us now the assurance that whatever our sins of word, of thought, of deed, we are sustained and set free to renew our walk in His ways.  

We praise you that you have called us to be a people together,

Who can praise You with one voice for Your blessings to us,

Who can look to one another for inspiration and encouragement,

Who can share the great commission to tell the story of Jesus and serve those in need.  

We praise you for those in the past who were faithful in responding to the call, who came through the challenges of their time, who believed through their own personal suffering, even death, and now enjoy their place in the eternal Kingdom.  

We pray for the life of the Church throughout the world, that whatever the circumstances there will always be reason for thanksgiving.

We pray for our world, so broken, so divided, so much in need of a Saviour who forgives, heals, unites and satisfies.

We pray for our nation, pressing on with so much pain behind us and so much unknown before us, may our hope be grounded in what You alone promise.  

We pray for those whose pain, anxiety and loss we carry with us today in the faith that Your eye is upon them and Your love is reaching out to them.  

Prayers For The Week 17

 ‘Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

 Do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

 When they carry out their wicked schemes.’  (Psalm 37: 7)

So often the tide of darkness sweeps over the earth.  

Plans that will be hurtful to others.

Policies that will benefit only the privileged.

Promises made without commitment to see them through.

Pleas for food, housing, and justice that will remain unheard.

But the ancient voice of faith calls us to be still before the Lord, to resist the pull into darkness and to wait patiently.

So
we pray for grace to acknowledge Your control over all, to trust in your ways, to be sure within ourselves that love, justice and peace will not sleep forever.

And may it begin in us.  

For too often we have added to the darkness with our words, our thoughts, our attitudes and our actions.  

Forgive us.

As we wait for the Lord let this be combined with our commitment to let our lives reflect your love, your goodness, your justice.  

We thank you for your Church

Where we have heard the story of Jesus,

Where faithful people have shown the love of Christ to those on need.

We thank you especially for those now at rest who were faithful to the end and have left us with an example of commitment and perseverance.

We pray that your Church throughout the world would never be in disarray because of human prejudice and that barriers overcome in christ would never be reinforced.

We pray for the world that no one would ever be disadvantaged because of race, faith, gender or class.

We pray for our nation that we might have your perspective on the things that divide us and learn to appreciate the things that unite us.  

We pray for those who suffer intolerance and pray that they would find strong in the One who was despised and rejected.  

We pray for those known to us whose quality of life has been affected by pain, anxiety, bereavement and ask that the Holy Spirit would be close to reassure and revitalise.  

Prayers For The Week 16

We come to you, O Father, Creator of our lives.

We come to sing your praises for blessings you provide.

You give us strength in weakness, you give us hope in pain,

You give your truth to bring us back to your will again.

You never will forsake us, your grasp of us is sure,

Your purpose is to cleanse us until our lives are pure.

 

We come to you, O Jesus, the Saviour of our lives.

We come to sing your praises, our Brother and our Guide.

You came to live amongst us, to share our joy and tears,

You healed the body broken and calmed the mind in fear.

Your death has brought forgiveness, new life for those who fall

Your triumph over death is shared with those who hear your call.

 

We come to you, O Spirit, the Power in our lives.

We come to sing your praises, God’s Presence by our side. 

You come to help us worship, to raise our spirits high,

You come to show us clearly where paths of service lie.

Reveal the truth of Christ to us and form in us His mind!

Bring forth the love and peace of Christ to share with all mankind!

Lord God Almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, to you be praise and glory for ever. We rejoice, Father, that in your great love you sent your one and only Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins and for the sins of the whole world. We ask that your Church may always witness to your presence and your love and that you will guide all preachers of your word so that they may lead your people to know and to love you. We ask you to continue to bless Fergus in his ministry to us here at St. Paul’s and Baldernock.                                                                                           

We bring to your love the suffering and sorrow of our world. We pray for all who are scorned or rejected and who suffer from the cruelty and wickedness of others. We remember those living in areas of war and violence and suffering attacks on their communities, such as the peoples of Israel and Palestine, Syria, Afghanistan and so many other countries. We ask your blessing on the efforts of all individuals and organisations working for peace and reconciliation and providing help for those in need.  Give wisdom to those responsible for combating the pandemic so that good decisions are made, especially in countries like India. We pray for those who have lost loved ones and for all who are ill at home, in care homes or in hospitals. May they be comforted and supported. We remember people involved in accidents or acts of cruelty and violence this week. We bring before you all who live in fear or feel that they can no longer cope with life. We ask your blessing on doctors, nurses, care and social workers, teachers, police officers, members of the emergency services and all on whose caring and commitment we depend.  

 Finally we thank you for our loved ones and friends, for those who enrich our lives through their goodness and example. You love them more than we can ever do and you know their deepest needs, and we pray that you will bless and protect them. We ask you to help us through your Holy Spirit to keep close to you in the coming week, Amen.        

Thanks to Robin Easton for the prayers for others.