But Gabrielle had some symptoms and we decided that as we had a date to be with ‘Breakaway’, the dementia care group in St Paul’s we had better take a Covid test before going amongst that vulnerable group.
I began the procedure without much thought or fear. I had always tested negative through the worst of the pandemic and was surely fortified by the six jabs I had received. But there it was on that wee oblong piece of plastic, the extra line that told me I was positive. It was faint but the written and spoke word from the people that know told me that that doesn’t matter. A double line is a double line.
So an immediate call to Audrey, the myeloma nurse at the Beatson. She told me that as someone with a compromised immunity system I would qualify for anti-viral drugs. She gave me an NHS number to phone. I had to tell my story as a myeloma sufferer and the drugs would be sent out by courier. They arrived within hours. I was assured that bad things may not happen but they might. So another regimen of pills had to be taken over five days and the course completed even if there were early improvements in my symptoms.
By Friday of that week the faint but frightening line had disappeared. The lady on the NHS advice line had said that hopefully the anti-viral drugs would deal with the symptoms and keep me out of hospital! I think perhaps that that the Covid bug had been with me for a time before the test and was on the way to burning out. But the drug did keep the symptoms at bay. And unbelievably throughout this Gabrielle continued to test negative. So with a confirmatory negative test on Saturday 17 we were set fair to spend Christmas with the family in Cheltenham.
In the height of the pandemic I had often half-jokingly said that waiting for the result of a Covid test did wonders for your prayer life. But that particularly week took me to a new depth. A new wave of vulnerability swept through me. You come to terms with living with an incurable disease. Most of the time you don’t think about it very much. But now and again the screw tightens and your feel the pressure. That the way it was in the days of the faint line.
And you think about the blog you wrote on 11 December when you emphasised the importance of personal faith in Jesus no matter what circumstances are unfolding. Well, now was my opportunity to put that into practise, to live that out. I remembered the final lines I wrote:
‘Let our prayer be that by the end of Advent 2022 there will be a people renewed in their faith, closer to Jesus, confident in His promises, clear with regard to our destiny in Him.’
We too often forget that God’s way of growing a people like this is to lead them through days of challenge in which they will have opportunity to renew faith, become closer to Jesus, find new confidence in His promises and be more clear in our regard to our destiny in Him.
With everything that was happening I missed out on blogging about the faith of Mary, a traditional Advent theme. ‘Greatly troubled’ by her destiny revealed by the angel, with questions in her mind, she was still able to say:
‘I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.’ That was not the end of her questions or, indeed, her suffering. But through many a day of challenge she trusted the God she knew.
