Stories of an individual’s struggle against life’s challenges have become very popular in modern culture. Sometimes dismissed as ‘Misery Memoirs’ they can undoubtedly bring some encouragement to those who are struggling with memories of abuse, present experience of illness or the constant grind of drug addiction. Any indication that the sharp edges of human experience can be smoothed down and lived with are to be welcomed. The problem is that for those on the outside there can develop an unhealthy interest in the dark side of life. Someone has referred to this kind of book as ‘Misery Porn’. I remember back in the day how avidly young Christians would devour books of former drug addicts who were wonderfully converted but who went into great detail about their former sordid lives. I came to think that the attraction was was not all to do with the happy end.
I never intended that this blog should become a Misery Memoir. It helps me to feel more like myself if I am still quarrying and seeking to share what I am still gathering from God’s truth. But days like today can be hard. I realised more fully this week that any idea I had of continuing to work while undergoing this treatment was ridiculous naivety. The problem is not the cancer but the cure - or rather the containment. So far I have managed to avoid many of the unpleasant side effects I was told to expect. No nausea, hair loss, stomach cramps, the list is endless. It’s the tiredness that is the real challenge. This is where vanity comes in but dragging this body on a short five minute walk that used to do three hard one hour sessions in the gym every week is hard to take.
This is where the application of Christian truth can become a sheer act of will. I have read Philippians 4: 11-13 constantly over the years. I have meditated upon these words. I have preached out of these words. Now they have to kick in:
‘.... for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.’
Paul says ‘I have learned . . .’ I have wanted to reflect Christ in my life but have not taken into account the means whereby His qualities might come to the fore. I have to learn to be content with the circumstances presented to me knowing that this is part of God’s good and loving plan for me. The call to be ‘content’ is not self-help advice. It is a call to stand on the eternal truths that cannot be changed by circumstance and bring a strength that is beyond my own resources. What are these truths? Well, let’s start with the heart of the Gospel. God thinks me worthy of the death of His Son. That’s how He loves each one of us. No wonder Paul could say that nothing will ever separate us from this love! It’s the love that promises His presence in every circumstance, brings us forgiveness, the promise of union with the Father, the assurance of a place in the Eternal Kingdom. Learn these things! Learn their power! The things that can never be changed.
I wish I did not have to go through this time. But if it means that I emerge with a fuller appreciation of the things that really matter, then perhaps with Paul ‘I will boast of the things that show my weakness.’ (2 Corinthians 11: 30.)
