Still Quarrying 46 - God Came Near

Yesterday I started on my third cycle of chemotherapy, two weekly injections along with a daily intake of 40 mg. of steroids, a daily injection of heparin and other supplementary drugs.   In an earlier blog I mentioned the Irish writer Colm Toibin’s cancer experience and the intensive treatment he has undergone.  He very vividly described his experience at one point in his treatment: ‘It was like mixing a major hangover with a major flu.‘   Well, I suppose we draw on our own past experience to describe present experience!  But I think I know where he is coming from.  There is a heaviness, a disorientation, an inability to find words for your thoughts, dryness and soreness in the mouth.  Thankfully I still have no nausea and I had to go to the hairdresser last Friday so the ‘barnet’ is still intact.  It’s what we citizens in the Republic of Cancervania are repeatedly told, no two people are the same.     

Recently I got to wondering if Jesus was ever ill.  We know about the limitations his humanity placed on him.  He needed food, water, rest, when cut he bled, finally he was overcome by death.  But disease?  Max Lucado is in no doubt.  In  God Came Near one of his most profound books he writes:

‘For thirty-three years he would feel everything you and I every felt.  He felt weak.  He   grew weary.  He was afraid of failure.  He was susceptible to wooing women.  He got colds, burped, and had body odor.  His feelings got hurt.  His feet got tired.  And his head ached.’  

I know someone who read this and found it challenging.  A bit too ‘near the bone.‘   But is this not what the Incarnation is all about.  God coming near in the fullness of humanity while always being fully God.  Max goes on:

‘It’s much easier to keep humanity out of the incarnation.  Clean the manure from around the manger.  Wipe the sweat out of his eyes.  Pretend he never snored or blew his nose or hit his thumb with a hammer.

‘He’s easier to stomach that way.  There is something about keeping him divine that keeps him distant, packaged, predictable.

But don’t do it.  For heaven’s sake, don’t.  Let him be as human as he intended to be.  Let him into the mire and muck of our world.  For only if we let him in can he pull us out.‘    

It makes sense.  If Jesus was fully human in everything except sin then his immune system was as dodgy as the next man’s ( unless, of course he was one of those people who could say: ‘I’ve never had a day’s illness in my life’ - hmm) and that’s before we get into psychological and spirit disturbance.   Evidence of the latter is there as much as the physical limitation.   

I’m reading through the Book of Proverbs at present.  It’s not the easiest book of the Bible to get your head around.  It can seem to be fragmentary, a bit ‘all over the place’, with rapidly changing and seemingly unrelated themes.   I found this to be challenging when I preached on a series of passages not long ago.  But as with all scripture it is worth hanging in and there are many verses and passages which have been helpful to Christians in gaining insight into the nature of God and His ways.   Proverbs 18: 24 has been the inspiration of many a sermon:

‘A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’  

If you have friendship like this then you are certainly blessed.  But these words have been a great help to many people when even the closest of relationships runs into trouble.  Human friendship may fail but there is always ‘a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’  Maybe this is what Paul had in mind when he spoke about God’s plan for us all ‘to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.’  (Roman 8: 29)  Jesus is the Big Brother in the Kingdom Family and closer to us than any friend or family member.  

That’s easy to say and to write.  Do I always feel this?  If not, how is this realisation awakened?  How does the light dawn upon a soul sometimes in the darkness of doubt, disillusion, disturbance, despair?  I was reading Psalm 1 this morning which speaks of the man who is blessed.  He is one who ‘delights in the Law of the Lord, and on his Law he meditates day and night.’  (verse 2).  What is written concerning our God is vital to our spiritual strength.  It is there we get to know about Him but also to know Him.  Yes, there are difficulties. Not long ago I led a Bible Study with people with addiction problems.  At one point in the discussion the importance of the Bible was emphasised by someone whereupon upon one woman picked up a copy riffled through it and said with some passion: ‘How can anyone read that!’  We have to accept that it is from a position like this that most people begin.  But for anyone beginning with Bible reading or struggling with Bible reading the imperative must always be the story of Jesus where we see God in human form, God as he relates to humankind, God as he sympathises with the Bible struggler, God as He came near.   

Still Quarrying 45 - Preaching.

Normal routines are of course up in the air at present.  Saturday morning would normally be a time of final preparation for the Lord’s Day.  Not starting from scratch you understand (usually!) but pulling things together, making sure that the message is as clear as it can be and, just as important, praying that the message has made an impact on me.  There can be no true preaching unless you are speaking out of your own experience of the Living Word and this means being open to the ministry of the Holy Spirit.   

This is where preaching is ultimately beyond us.  At the beginning of the twentieth century James Black wrote a book entitled The Mystery Of Preaching and there is so much about the preaching experience that is beyond the expertise and control of the preacher.  The novelist Stephen King was once doing a ‘Q&A’ after a talk.  One lady said that her daughter wanted to be a writer so what advise would Stephen give her?  His response was: ‘Read a lot of books.’  He then followed this up by saying: ‘You can learn how to write but I’m not sure you can teach it.‘   You can put this another way.  You can learn how to write but you can’t be taught how to write.  And it’s the same with preaching.  You can master techniques and maybe even get brilliant grades in a homiletics class.  I’ve been involved in teaching a few of those myself.  But there is something indefinable, perhaps even inexpressible, involved in the flow of eternal truth through a human personality.  

Another writer Richard Russo says in an essay about writing: ‘Most of the stuff an aspiring writer needs to learn about point of view and plotting and character development  and dialogue can be learned.’  He goes on however: ‘What can’t be taught is indispensable.’  It’s the same with preaching.

This does not mean that there is no need to work at it.  Mozart practiced six hours a day, Dickens wrote himself to a standstill, Johann Cruyff had to be dragged off the training ground.  But others have worked just as hard who did not have that indefinable quality which Russo would say is ‘indispensable.‘   With regard to preaching, what we are moving towards is the Biblical view of preaching as a ‘charism’ or gift, something given out of the grace of God.  Paul says: ‘Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophesy.’ (I Corinthians 14: 1)  Prophesy being the proclamation of revealed truth to the community of Christ.  

This does not place preachers on a moral eminence in relation to other Christians.  If a preacher has any knowledge of his or her brothers and sisters in Christ and any spiritual sensitivity he/she will be aware of many people who listen to them and embody Christ-like qualities that elude them.  Preaching can be a humbling experience.  But the preacher is called to a task that ‘edifies’ or ‘builds up’ the Church through the sharing of eternal truth.  Paul again: ‘He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church.’  (1 Corinthians 14: 4)

There is a sense of course in which all Christians are called to be preachers.  There are many Greek words in the New Testament which can be translated as ‘preaching’ and in some cases they point to an informal sharing of faith one person to another or a spontaneous response to an opportunity which arises.  But the gift remains which edifies the Church and given to those called and recognised by the Church.  

In case this might seem to be dangerously exclusive let’s go back to Paul and his perception of the impact of preaching.  Put simply he saw preaching as producing more preachers:

‘So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,  to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up  until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.‘   (Ephesians 4: 11-13)

Going back to Stephen King and his advise to budding writers: ‘Read a lot of books’, it is as part of the community of faith, worshipping with other Christians, under the authority of the preached Word, that preachers emerge for the future strengthening of the Church.  It may be said that this is not happening, at least in the Western Church at this time.  Well, maybe that is a subject for another blog.  For the moment let’s concentrate on the great need of the hour for the emergence of more preachers who will have as their priority ‘quarrying’ for the truth in order to share it with God’s people in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Someone, obviously in morbid mood, once said to me that I should have Jesus words, ‘I will build my church . . .’ inscribed on my grave-stone.  Apparently I quote them quite a lot.  However, it has only just struck me that I haven’t given a lot of thought to how He will build.  Does Paul have have the answer when he speaks of preaching edifying or building up the Church?  I really do believe it is as important as that.  So, faithful reader, pray that tomorrow throughout the nation the Word will go out in power and touch men and women at the deepest level and that others will emerge to continue the greatest building project ever conceived.  

Still Quarrying 44 - Known And Called.

Haematology Clinic yesterday and things are continuing to go in the right direction which is good news.  The treatment is leaving me extremely tired and there are a few other side effects but it is working.  So we hang on with confidence in the medics and faith in God’s good and loving purpose.  

My abiding impression of the Clinic is just how busy it was.  For the first time it was difficult to find a seat.  And again you realise the challenge for the Beatson staff faced with these large numbers of people and seeking to provide a service for each individual.  All the more so when you remember that no two people are the same in going through the cancer experience.   So any indication that you are valued as an individual is an encouragement in itself.  

It is one of the great wonders of the Christian life that we are known completely by our God.  We are not just drops in an ocean of humanity but known as unique individuals.  Jesus’ teaching in John 10 underlines that for us.  He speaks of Himself as the Good Shepherd who ‘calls his own sheep by name.’  To know someone’s name in Jesus’ culture was more than just a memory exercise.  It showed that you had some deeper knowledge of that person, his character, her priorities.  So Jesus knows us at a deep level.  His gaze falls upon us and he knows us completely.  

That is reassuring but read on and discover that he ’goes on ahead’ of His sheep calling them to follow.  He is not merely a comfort blanket but a dynamic presence taking His people forward in the life of discipleship.  Paul found the truth of this in all circumstances, free or imprisoned, healthy or sick, held back or forging ahead.  The Good Shepherd went before him providing opportunities to serve.  

Still Quarrying 43 - Noticing.

Mentioning Clive James in yesterday’s blog sent me back to one of his poems, ‘Sentenced To Life’ in which he reflects on  his illness and the physical restrictions it has placed on him:

‘Sentenced to life, I sleep face-up as though

 Ice-bound, lest I should cough the night away,

 And when I walk the mile to town, I show

 the right technique for wading through deep clay.’ 

He also has to deal with thoughts of past misjudgments and mistakes which weigh heavily on him and which cause regret and guilt.  But through all of this he discovers a new perspective on life:

‘Now, not just old, but ill, with much amiss,

 I see things with a whole new emphasis.’

Despite the discomfort and debility he has time and opportunity to take in the world around him and to appreciate things that have escaped him in the past:

‘Once, I would not have noticed; nor have known

 The name for Japanese anemones,

 So pale, so frail.  But now I catch the tone

 Of leaves.  No birds can touch down in the trees

 Without my seeing them.  I count the bees.’

This is something I have experienced.  When you are forced to slow down you ‘notice’ more, you have opportunity to dwell on your surroundings in ways you may never have done before.  No longer able to go places, see people, do things, you focus on what you hear and see and touch.  Jesus was steeped in His world and He preached out of it.  He was connected to what was around Him and that formed the basis of His connection with men and women.  Not just the seeds and the flowers and the birds.  Read the parables.  This was a world where travellers were brutally mugged, where young men made potentially life-destroying decisions, where emissaries from landowners were beaten up and murdered.  He ‘noticed’ and He made connections.  

I wonder if Clive James would say that his illness has been worth the life-enhancement he has experienced.  What is beyond doubt is that the ‘noticing’ afforded by his illness has led to a deeper appreciation of life.  I can say that too and hope that when all this is behind me my ability to ‘notice’ has been heightened.  

Still Quarrying 42 - Because He Lives!

Two magazines bought last week each with a cancer story.  Clive James, author, critic, broadcaster, poet, was actually diagnosed with a form of leukemia in 2011 but has benefited from an experimental drug treatment.   He was recently admitted to hospital so that a tumour in his salivary glad could be dealt with.   The other story was of Colm Toibin, the novelist.  This was news to me but last year he was diagnosed with testicular cancer which had spread to a lung and his liver.  He goes into quite a bit of detail with regard to the discomfort he has suffered due to the disease and the very unpleasant  side effects he has endured.  

This kind of thing is not uncommon these days, people sharing their experiences of illness in print.  The first to make a major impact in the UK was the journalist John Diamond.  He was diagnosed with throat cancer in 1997 and wrote about his experiences in his weekly Sunday Times column.   This eventually became a book entitled C: Because Cowards Get Cancer Too.  

It’s only natural that men like James, Toibin and Diamond should write about their illnesses.  They are writers and writers write.  If they carry on bashing at the keys or scribbling on the paper then they feel more like themselves and as they go through debilitating and unpleasant treatment that can only be good.  Christopher Hitchens,  the writer and critic and another cancer sufferer, produced a 3,000 word book review in his final days despite severe pain and chronic fatigue.   The impulse to create is strong.    

The other aspect of this is the mutual support that can arise as a result of published experiences.  Diamond received a number of letters from people who were facing similar issues and enabled him to feel less isolated.  Others were grateful to see something like their own experiences in print.  We are constantly told that cancer is a very individual experience.  No two people are the same.  But it was encouraging for many to read Diamond’s column and to know that someone else understood and was finding a way through.  

It has been good for me to hear of other people’s experiences especially those who have endured the same treatment regimen and have come through to return to their normal work and family life.  You hold this before you in the difficult days.  But you always return to  the mantra: no two people are the same.  In the end, this is my personal experience and no one has ever felt this way about the illness and the treatment.   I have a backstory, a set or relationships, a range of priorities, a particular personality which when they come together form a unique life.  It’s the same with everyone.   So when illness becomes a factor in this then the experience and the response are similarly unique.  I can be inspired and encouraged by the stories of others but how far does this really take me?  In the end it is I with the cancer.   

The thing is I bring more to the cancer than just my backstory, relationships, priorities and personality.  My faith is in a God who became a human being and therefore knew the limitations of the human body and human psychology.   He experienced hunger and thirst; He felt His emotions rise with the joys of life and He mourned the suffering he observed; He experienced horrendous physical pain and even endured the loss of God.  The writer to the Hebrews says: ‘ We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses . . .’  (Hebrews 4: 15)  The result of this is that we can approach Him in prayer with confidence knowing ‘that we might receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.’  (Hebrews 4: 16)  A God who has embraced the suffering of the world but knows the need of each individual, what they require in any moment, to continue to be the faithful witnesses he has called them to be.  

This is where the rubber of my life hits the road of God’s purpose.  So much of the journey is as yet unknown but that faith is possible which can say:

‘Because He lives I can face tomorrow;

 Because He lives all fear is gone;

 Because I know He holds the future,

 And life is worth the living

 Just because He lives.’  

Still Quarrying 41 - Darkness Defeated!

To wake up on Easter morning to brightness, warmth and birdsong.  It couldn’t be better.  But then comes the news of the bombings in Sri Lanka.  Christian lives wiped out as they gathered to celebrate the Risen Christ.  In face of this you realise that none of our canned responses will do, the things we let slide from our mouth without feeling in our hearts.  This is the world where hatred, prejudice and violence all thrive and where Christians are called to be faithful witnesses to the Resurrection.  That’s what the apostles called themselves in the early days.  (Acts 1: 22)  It was the Resurrection that threw light on the identity of Jesus and the purpose of His mission and this they would proclaim in word and in deed.    

Their world could be a savage place.  It was a time of political oppression, criminals were tortured to death in public and the time would come when Christians themselves would be persecuted.  Despite living a quiet life of devotion and service the Christian community was eventually unwelcome in Jerusalem.  Stephen was stoned and the believers were scattered.  But everywhere they went they preached the Word, they told the story of Jesus.  (Acts 8: 4)  This was the beginning of the evangelisation of the Roman Empire.  The darkest day in the Church’s history to that point was a springboard for mission.   Waves of hate may have been directed at them but they responded with the story of God’s love as it had been revealed in the life and mission of Jesus.  

I’ll probably never know what it’s like to be on the end of the kind of persecution that we have seen in Sri Lanka and therefore anything I say has to be with utmost humility.  What I believe, however, is that the deeper the darkness that falls upon us emphasises the necessity for Christians to continue to preach the God they know.  The God who revealed Himself in the life of a ‘man of sorrows’ but through those sorrows revealed the depth of His love for the whole of humankind.   We are called to preach this but also to show this to all those engulfed by the darkness.  The primary part of the fruit of the Spirit is love.  (Galatians 5: 22)  The primary response of all Christians to those with whom they have to do is love.   It’s just not enough to sound off about the barbarity of those who would carefully plan the destruction of others as they worshipped in Church.  Do our lives show a better way?  

I haven’t managed to get out to Church on the Lord’s Day as often as I would have liked during this time of illness.  It was good then to be at Temple Anniesland this morning and to be blessed under the ministry of Fiona Gardner.  The Lord’s Supper was celebrated and it was a great encouragement.  At one point in the service the children were asked to go round the congregation and give everyone a daffodil.  A man near me was given a yellow bud on the end of a green stalk.  The flower had not bloomed.  The expression on his face was priceless.  I saw my faith in that bud.  It is there but it needs to bloom, to be the dynamic force that we see in the first Christians, to be so sure of the love of God that I can face the worst and say with conviction ‘Christ is risen!  He is risen indeed!’

I can get there if I stay close to the story and respond to every opportunity for service which shows that I have been truly touched by the love of the Father.  

Still Quarrying 40 - Saturday Experience.

The speaker on today’s ‘Thought For Today’ on Radio 4 said that Saturday in Holy Week is a ‘strange day’ largely because nothing much seems to have happened.  Only Matthew tells us of the chief priests and Pharisees going to Pilate to request that a guard be placed on Jesus tomb.  Interestingly they remembered Jesus prophecy if not His exact words: ‘After three days  I will rise again.‘   They anticipated that the disciples might steal the body and claim He had risen so a guard on the tomb would be welcome.   Pilate agreed.  A seal was placed on the tomb and a guard posted.  

That in itself is a powerful image.  The movers and shakers in the religious and political spheres doing their upmost to keep Jesus in the tomb.  Now that could keep me going for quite a while but let’s just stay with the idea that nothing much seemed to be happening on Holy Week Saturday.  Various myths and legends have emerged to explain the gap between Good Friday and Easter morning.   Prominent among them is the idea that Jesus descended to a place between heaven and hell where he preached the message of redemption to righteous souls in waiting.   We are in firmer ground, however, when we remember Jesus words to the penitent thief on the Cross.   Having previously mocked Jesus along with his fellow thief he now turns to Him: ‘Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom.’  And Jesus answers: ‘I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.’  (Luke 23: 40-43)

Jesus knew that with the extinguishing of his life on earth, at that moment He would be returned to the Eternal World where His Father and the angels waited to welcome and acclaim Him.  Donald Macleod expresses this so well in his book The Crucified Christ: 

‘He was clinically dead, his body inanimate and separated from his soul (although still united to his divine person; it is the body of the Son of God that lies in the grave.)  But while his body lay inert in the grave, his soul was in paradise, at rest, rejoicing in the approbation of the Father, adored by the angels, acclaimed by the redeemed and at perfect peace with the outcome of  his mission.’  

This was unfolding beneath the surface of silence, disappointment and fear that was Saturday in Holy Week.  God was still in control and at work.  This would be revealed in all its fullness when the soul of Jesus would be united to a renewed body on Easter morning and the promise of renewal for the whole of humankind would be proclaimed.   

There is a sense in which the whole of humankind is going through a Saturday experience.   The Notre Dame fire, climate change protests, political upheaval in so many countries remind us that we are part of a broken world.  But beneath the surface God is in control and working out His good purpose for the whole of Creation.   ‘When you come into your Kingdom,’  said the thief.  That Kingdom has yet to be seen in all its fullness but Easter morning carries the promise that we are moving towards that time when everything that has ever made us cry will be evacuated from human experience.  Paul saw Jesus as ‘the firstborn among many brothers.’  (Romans 8: 29)  The Risen Christ stands as the archetype of all that God wishes for humanity, renewed in body, mind and spirit.   And it is as a renewed humanity that we will enjoy a renewed Creation.  

The tomb was sealed and guarded.  Nothing much more to expect then.  The reality beneath the surface was so different.  It is in that reality that we are called to live.  We face the brokenness of our time with sorrow and resolution but also in the faith that this is not the end of the human story.  ‘Our God is marching on!’