Still Quarrying 76 - Apheresis.

Tuesday was my appointment at the Clinical Apheresis Unit at the Beatson for stem cell ‘harvesting’.   What happens is you are linked up to a machine which separates your blood cells into their various components, such as red cells, white cells, platelets etc.    In my case the aim was to separate stem cells which would later be used in the transplant process.   

It was quite an experience.  I had to clock in at 9 am for a blood analysis in preparation for the procedure scheduled to  begin at 11 am.  That went on until 4. 40 pm so a long day.   

I was one of four people in the Unit including one lady from Gretna who was donating stem cells for her brother who is suffering from Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  That is quite a commitment.  Not just the travel involved for her - there are only three CAUs in Scotland - but in preparation for apheresis a course of injections has to be taken to stimulate the bone marrow.  This can cause bone pain and fatigue and sometimes nausea.   And then there is the apheresis itself which in her case took five hours.   In so many ways a giving of the self for the benefit of another.  I’m praying that things will work out for the brother.

One of the nurses told me that she didn’t expect me to be ‘up or down’ during the procedure and that is how it was.  The biggest problem was as my mother might have put it ‘being at peace’, not moving my left arm which had the line drawing out my blood and generally being confined to a chair for five hours.  That had its problems since I still had some bone pain in my back and legs from the preparatory injections.  

I had ipod and kindle with me of course but found that concentration was a problem.   When provided with a dvd player I opted for The Bourne Identity which I had seen at least twice but sometimes you go for comfort stuff.  The thing is with earphones in you have to be careful. During a spectacular car chase I shouted ‘Wow!’ bringing two anxious nurses over to see what was wrong.  I said: ‘It’s okay.  It’s Jason Bourne who has the problem.’  

In between times it was fascinating just watching the dark orange fluid that was my stem cells oozing into the bag and hoping that there would be enough for the transplant to go ahead.  In the end there was actually enough for two transplants!  So I think you can say all went well.  I was told to expect tiredness in the aftermath and sure enough yesterday passed in a bit of a dwam enlivened with more Jason Bourne and some episodes from Fawlty Towers.  (They wouldn’t get away with that these days!)  

Once again, grateful for the hospital staff.  At one point Sharon, one of the nurses said to me: ‘I feel I’m neglecting you but you’re not giving us any problems.‘   I said: ‘I can create a few if you like!’  When you are a bit vulnerable it’s good to have the warmth of compassion around you as well as the security of professional expertise.  

The next stage is the transplant itself which will be carried out at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital.  I don’t have  date yet bit praying it will be soon.  

Still Quarrying 75 - Great Minds.

Prospect is probably not one of those magazines that you would find in a dentist’s waiting room.  It can be pretty heavy going at times.   Political, social, cultural comment is what it focuses upon and it can call upon some intellectual big hitters to contribute.  No surprise then that the latest edition has a list of ‘The World’s Top 50 Thinkers.  The writers, scientists and philosophers who are shaping our times.‘   This comes with the challenge that we should ‘Never doubt that thoughtful minds can change the world; they are the only things that ever do.‘  So the Prospect people publish their list ‘to honour the minds engaging most fruitfully with the questions of the moment.‘   Those listed have been arrived at through the nominations of those who in the past have contributed articles to Prospect recognising that readers may be of a different mind.  To this end a reader’s poll is being organised.  

Two things struck me about the list.  First of all I have never heard of 44 of them.  But that probably says more about me than anything else.  Secondly, although the arts, science, philosophy, economics, law are represented there is not one Christian theologian.  (A woman named Amina Wadud  is included who is described as a ‘Theologian and Activist’ but she is a Muslim and from what I gather would  not claim to be orthodox in her beliefs).  

So what do we make of this?  It may well be the case that some of the 50 are in fact Christians and are bearing a Christian witness in their chosen field.  We will come back to this later.  But the fact remains that no one who engages in formal theological thought and research is considered to be ‘engaging most fruitfully with the questions of the moment.’  It is not that these people don’t exist.   A glance at my bookshelves gives the lie to that.  As long ago as 1970 Francis Schaeffer was addressing  what nowadays are known as ‘green issues’ in his book Pollution And The Death Of Man subtitled ‘The Christian View Of Ecology’.   Others like Os Guiness, Ravi Zacharias and Don Carson are in touch with cultural trends and comment from a Christian perspective.   In Scotland Donald Macleod was a prophetic voice in his role as Editor of the Free Church Record and in his column in the West Highland Free Press.   The former Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams is often invited to contribute to secular journals such as the New Statesman.  

This is apart from the theological reflection that still goes on in our universities and is sometimes heard in the public square.  Benedict XVI was perhaps not one of the most popular of popes but no one would deny his monumental intellect which was often brought to bear on ‘questions of the moment.’  

Some might say this is missing the point.  Let Prospect have its Top 50 Thinkers.  Christians will always be on the margins, marching to the beat of a different drummer, voices crying in the wilderness, never among the ‘movers and shakers’.   The values of Christianity (at least orthodox Christianity) will always be at variance with those in the mainstream and we cannot expect to be considered worthy of being amongst the great minds.  I get that but I cannot say I am content with it.  Remember how Jesus thought of the community of faith: light in the darkness, yeast permeating dough, smallest seed yielding spectacular growth.   It’s a picture of His people bearing a witness that might be considered of little consequence but which in the end has a significant impact.  The Kingdom of God is amongst us, it is destined to grow, no area of society is closed off to it, and that includes those areas honoured by Prospect.      

My point is that we must not be dismissive of great minds and the contribution they make to the good of humankind.  It may be that society does not recognise the contribution made by those designated as Christian leaders and thinkers but the fields of science, politics, the arts, education are open to Christian influence.   Jesus spoke of Christian truth as bringing goodness, love and justice to the whole of society.    The Apostle Paul spoke of Christian truth having an impact even on those areas that might seem to be impervious.   We need to pray for Christians who are at the sharp end of their nation’s life but also to face up to our responsibility to be true to our faith wherever we are.   We are not good at realising our significance.  We are the Body of Christ on earth.  Whatever our place in society we have a message that offers a change that can occur at the deepest level.   Paul spoke about Christians having ‘the mind of Christ’ looking beyond the wisdom of the age and embracing the truth that ‘at all times has firmly stood/And shall from age to age endure.‘   It is those with this mind that will make a difference.   It is this mind, to recall the words of Prospect, that will engage ‘most fruitfully with the questions of the moment’ for this is a mind that recognises the need for the forgiveness and renewal that only flows from God.   

Still Quarrying 74 - Scan Results.

It’s quite a thought.  Modern medical technology enables our hearts, arteries and brains to be scanned and open to examination.   If anything is found to be abnormal steps can then be taken to restore and heal.  Of course health is not just a matter of hearts, arteries and brains, not to mention blood!   We have become more familiar with the holistic approach to medicine which recognizes that we are not just physical organisms.  Our psychology and spirituality have also to be taken on board.  This is close to the Biblical perspective on humankind.  

In the Book of Revelation the Risen and Glorified Christ is described as having eyes like ‘blazing fire’ (1: 4) and in chapters 2 and 3 we see those eyes focussed on seven Christian communities which existed in the first century AD.   We could say that Christ is scanning their inner being, seeking out abnormalities and passing judgement on the quality of their witness.   He says: ‘I am he who searches hearts and minds.’  (2: 23)  And what is revealed?  Two communities, Smyrna and Philadelphia, are commended for their faithfulness under the pressure of persecution.  Ephesus is deemed to be theologically sound but deficient in their personal devotion to Christ.  Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis and Laodicea have in various ways departed from the Gospel.  

It’s quite a thought.  The eyes of Christ on the Church and His assessment of our life and witness.  It is with this in mind that men and women through the centuries have seen the need for the Church to examine herself and see the things that need to be changed.   I have heard those voices all my life.  I have joined them from time to time.   But whatever changes have been made we Christians in the western world continue to be part of a diminishment in numbers and influence.  

A recent editorial on ‘organised religion’ in the Guardian has been rattling in my brain.   It said that the more organised religion organises itself the more ground it loses.  This really gets to the heart of what we regard as ‘change’.   So often it means tinkering with the structures.  We know that in the past this hasn’t worked but we still hold on to the hope that this particular tinkering will work.   The Christ of Revelation goes deeper.   Read chapters 2 and 3.  He calls for an increased devotion to Himself, a return to revealed truth, a commitment to personal morality, a surer grasp of what it means to be the Church.   The way forward is shown in His words to the Church in Laodicea:

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.  To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.  Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”  (3: 20)

Often these words are used evangelistically but originally they were spoken to the Church, to those who were already believers.  From the very beginning  it was recognised that the Church would always need to be reminded of the importance of listening to Christ, of opening up our lives to Him and closing with Him in ever deeper fellowship.   Sometimes the structures need to be reformed in order to meet changing circumstances but we can never neglect what Christ regarded as the heart of the Church.   In practice this means for us a recognition of the Written Word as the place where the voice of Christ is uniquely heard; a recognition of worship as the place where faith is nurtured and vision clarified;  a recognition that it is God’s purpose that our lives be shaped according to the pattern of living shown in Christ.  

Still Quarrying 73 - Heart Monitor.

Last Friday I saw my heart.   It was like a large rubber egg bobbing up and down, inflating and deflating.  You’ll know what I mean if you have ever experienced an Echocardiogram.  That’s the thing that enables the medics to determine the size of your heart and how well it is working especially the valves.  

I’ve already spoken to you about the ‘heart’ from a spiritual perspective (SQ 71), the core of our being, the place where thoughts are born, where emotions are experienced, where attitudes are formed.  That came to mind as I was watching the grainy black and white image of the organ  that quite literally keeps me going.  I was taken back to the night I was ordained to the Ministry of Word and Sacrament.   One of the vows I was required to take went like this:

‘Are not zeal for the glory of God, love to the Lord Jesus Christ, and a desire for the salvation of men, so far as you know your own heart, your great motives and chief inducements to enter into this Ministry?’  

The response expected is a definite: ‘They are!’  But how was I to take that ‘so far as you know your own heart’?  Well Scripture reminds us that we are ‘dust’, fragile beings, imperfect, flawed and sometimes our ‘motives and chief inducements’ will not stand up to much scrutiny.  The Psalmists, the Prophets and Jesus are constantly reminding us of the darkness that can emerge from the hearts of men and women.  So in standing before God and His people I confirmed that I had examined my heart and so far as I was able to say my motives and inducements were sound.   To put it like this, I wished to work for the glory of God out of love for the Lord Jesus with the desire that others would come to know Him as Saviour and Lord.  

That doesn’t mean that the need for the heart to be monitored ceases from that moment.  Remember  what the Psalmist prays:

‘Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’  (Psalm 139: 23-24).  

As long as we remain on this side of eternity it will be necessary for us to be be aware of what’s going on in the depths of our being especially  our tendencies to stray from ‘the way everlasting.‘   This is where the Holy Spirit comes in.  The night before His death Jesus made this promise to His disciples:

‘If you love me you will obey what I command.  And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counsellor to be with you forever - the Spirit of truth.’  (John 14: 15-17)

The Greek word translated ‘Counsellor’ here can also mean ‘helper’, ‘advocate’, ‘comforter’, ‘encourager’.  Put them together and we have a picture of someone who stands alongside another, especially in times of trouble,  and guides them according to the ways of the Kingdom of God.   In a sense, the Holy Spirit is our heart monitor.   He reveals the ways of the Kingdom as they are found in the Word, shows us where we have departed from them, and encourages us to make the changes that will enable us to be more faithful as followers of Jesus.  To be the kind of people who can say that as far as they know their own heart their main motive in life is to work for the glory of God, out of their love for Jesus and driven with the desire to share with the world what they have found to be true in Him.  

Still Quarrying 72 - God's Plan.

It happens now and then.  Suddenly the words of a song seem to crystallize in your brain.  So this morning, barely awake, I hear:

‘That’s the way God planned it

 That’s the way God wants it to be.’  

Where did that come from?   Probably that part of my psyche that will forever belong to the Seventies I am thinking.  Actually it was from 1969 and the singer was Billy Preston.  He is sometimes called the ‘Fifth Beatle’ because of his keyboard work on some of their later songs, notably Get Back.  But That’s The Way God Planned It was what we used to call a ‘hit’ in many countries and became Billy Preston’s signature song.  

He was a committed Christian and maintained his faith despite being sexually abused as a child and a troubled adult life which included a divorce, a struggle with his sexuality and battle with drug addiction.  You have to ask, is that the way God planned it?  That would be difficult for many people to accept but obviously Billy never let go of the conviction that through it all there was a loving Presence working out His good purpose for his life.   

But this doesn’t explain why his words came to me this morning.  I mean it must be decades since I last heard the song.  And I didn’t immediately connect it with Billy Preston.  I had to resort to Google for that.  Maybe it was because yesterday was a big day for planning.  Another clinic at the Beatson to arrange the final phase of my treatment  which will be a stem cell transplant.   There are quite a few procedures that have to be followed before we get to that point not least the ‘harvesting’ of my stem cells for the transplantation.  Thus the planning and along the way there will be committed professionals who will support and direct.  There is good reason then for me to be confident at that level.  But I know also that the ‘everlasting arms’ spoken of by Moses to his people (Deuteronomy 33: 27) are also supporting and directing.  God’s plan for my life will continue to unfold.    

Does it bother me that this plan seems to include what I’ve been going through since March?  It certainly hasn’t been easy and in the circumstances that led to me being hospitalised a few weeks ago I was never so low.  But you have to remember the God who is revealed in Jesus.  He is not just the God of sunshine and rainbows but the God of Calvary when His love for the whole of humankind was revealed at its most profound.   In the sufferings of Jesus on the cross God made it possible for men and women to be forgiven, to be renewed at the deepest level of their lives and to face death with a steady eye knowing that a place in the Eternal Kingdom awaits.  That’s the way God planned it , the salvation of the world, and I know that whatever lies ahead for me even in the deepest darkness  the everlasting arms will never be withdrawn.