Sitting It Out In Faith.

My daughter-in-law Mary was at Buckingham Palace on Wednesday evening.  She works for the BBC and the reception was for Regional Media in the presence of the King and Queen.   

Next day it was announced that the King has cancelled future appointments due to side-effects from his chemotherapy.  It is not unusual for people to function normally when undergoing some forms of cancer treatment, but the time may come when the weight of these very powerful drugs begins to take its toll.  They may be working well as far as the doctors are concerned but there is a price to be paid.  

Basically, poisons are being introduced into your body to combat the spread of the cancer.  The term ‘chemical warfare’ is not inappropriate.  Todd Billings, mentioned in my previous blog, discovered that the chemotherapy he was given prior to his stem cell transplant was a derivative of mustard gas which was used as a weapon in World War 1. (I should say that I don’t know if this was the chemotherapy used in my stem cell transplant, although something equally powerful would be used.) So, negative side effects are not surprising: nausea, hair loss, deep fatigue, bowel problems, mood swings – the list is long.  At its worst the only option for the patient is to sit it out. 

These days it is common to hear of a high-profile person’s cancer experience, but I can’t recall anyone specifically citing side-effects of chemotherapy as a reason for a withdrawal from work or duty.  This is another advantage in knowing what is going on with the King, not to mention the Princess of Wales.  They have not held back in talking about the bad days which have to be endured if their cancer is to be cured or steered into remission. 

There have been times when my heart sinks when the nurse hooks me up to my chemotherapy and I think of the slow days that lie ahead.  But if we truly wish to connect with Christ in his life, death and resurrection then the worst of times must be gone through as well as the best. 

In Philippians 4: 10-13 Paul meditates on the nature of life, its ups and downs, and says that he has learned to be content in every circumstance and the reason?  ‘I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.’  

It’s not always easy.  As I type I can feel a ‘brain fog’ coming down.  But a big part of faith is believing in the promises.  

Rejoicing in Lament

There is a lot to be said for Springtime.   And poets and other writers have said it far better than I ever could.  There is more light – that’s for certain.  And it’s warmer – at least that’s the theory!  And whatever the weather, through cold, rain, wind and sometimes even snow there is growth.  A walk through our local park these days is a joy.  The crocuses are out in vast array and the daffodils are not only appearing in gardens but for sale in every supermarket.  

Along with Springtime is the season of Lent.  Usually associated in people’s minds with giving something up.  So, smoke less, drink less, eat less.  But in the best of Christian tradition, it is regarded as a time for self-examination and a reaching towards a more Christ centred life, a becoming more like Him.  Some will say that should be a constant aspiration.  I agree.  But sometimes we need reminding of the great purpose God has in our lives and if Lent serves in that purpose, it is to be valued.  If all around us speaks of growth what areas of our lives are blocking our growth towards Christlikeness? 

It's fair to say that a strict observance of the Christian year is something that not everyone in the Reformed tradition has been comfortable with.  Happy to observe Christmas and Easter but let’s leave it at that.  However, in the parish Church in which I was brought up it went beyond that.  Holy Week was observed with a 15-minute service at 7.45 am every morning, an evening service often with a guest preacher, and a 6 am sunrise service on Easter morning.  

Every parish Church in which I trained as a student had Holy Week services, although usually only in the evening.   Glasgow Cathedral where I was Assistant went further with a Three-Hour Devotion on Good Friday.  This took place from 12 noon until 3pm with seven preachers each focussing on one of Jesus’ sayings from the Cross.  There were prayers and hymns between each preaching which enabled people to come and go. 

So, I always look forward to this time of year.  Devotionally I find it helpful to focus on the Cross and what that means to individual believers like me.  Often, I will have a book on the go to help in that direction.  This year it’s a book I have already read twice!  It’s called ‘Rejoicing in Lament’ by J. Todd Billings.  It’s the sub-title that really caught my eye: ‘Wrestling with Incurable Cancer and Life in Christ.’  The incurable cancer Todd suffers from is Multiple Myeloma, and that is what I have been wrestling with for the last 6 years: treatment, stem cell transplant, more treatment until today when I am anticipating a change in treatment to combat an advance in the disease.

It is often said that it’s good to know someone who has been through the same bad experiences as yourself.  But when that bad experience is a rare blood cancer, incurable, the writer still suffering, then it strikes at a deep level.  Todd is coming from a background of studying and teaching theology and brings all of this to address the issues faced by Christians who are going through their worst of times.   

There is a story how I came in touch with Todd’s book, and I regard it as one of the blessings of the past few years.  It’s a book which flows from the heart of a companion: same condition, same treatment, same side-effects.  But he has gone through it all in the faith that however it ends, the life, death and Resurrection of Jesus is the cure for all our suffering.

The season of Lent brings the same encouragement but at a deeper level.  We are assured that however life falls for us we have a Companion, born as one of us, knowing sorrow and suffering, but who has taken all His earthly experience back to heaven, and draws near to us in compassion and hope.  

Still Quarrying: God On Our Side?

A letter appeared in The Times last Saturday with the headline ‘Trump and God’:

 

Sir, Donald Trump says that he survived the assassination attempt because God was on his side.  One can only wonder what he thinks God had against Corey Comperatore, the man who was killed.

 

                                                                    Ron Jacobs, Farnham, Surrey.

 

It’s one of those questions which in the end will have to be consigned to that file marked ‘mystery’.  And that to many people would be the eternal Christian cop-out.  We can’t give a straight answer to the question so we retreat into that area which may be satisfying for us but doesn’t begin to address the problem raised by the challenger.   So why wander into this area that can only lead to a dead-end?  The fact is that Mr Jacobs’ letter highlights part of the problem that holds people back from faith. Christians present God as all-knowing, all-powerful, all loving in His management of the Universe He has created.  But there are too many inconsistences, contradictions and challenges to reason in this that could lead anyone to believe that He is managing the Universe well.  

 

I do not have the answer to the question, but I believe that it is a discussion worth having.  Let’s start with Donald Trump and his belief that his survival from the assassin’s bullet is evidence of divine intervention and, moreover, indicates that God is on his side.  Let’s be clear, it was a remarkable survival.  The more you see the video footage the more you realise he was a fraction of an inch away from death.  But can this truly be taken as evidence of God’s particular favour to Donald Trump?  

 

On of the Psalmist’s struggles with God is that he apparently blesses the lives of the ‘wicked’.  This is expressed in Psalm 73:

They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong.

They are free from common human burdens; they are not plagued by human ills. (vv. 4-5)

 

Compare this to the experience of the man who seeks to live according to God’s ways:

Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence.

All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments. (vv. 13-14)

 

Eventually in the Temple the Psalmist has an experience of God which reassures him of His presence and His justice.  The point being that a pain free, problem free life is not necessarily a mark of God’s favour.  Even when it comes to remarkable deliverance from danger and death.  History shows that the worst of rulers have not fallen when attempts have been made on their lives.  So, Trump should be careful when claiming that God is on his side - as anyone should in making this claim.

 

I am grateful to blogger Moses Falco in drawing my attention to an encounter Joshua had with a celestial being before the battle for Jericho:

 

Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand.  Joshua went up to him and asked, ‘Are you for us or for our enemies?’  ‘Neither’ he replied, ‘but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.’ Then Joshua fell face down to the ground in reverence, and asked him, ‘What message does my Lord have for his servant?’  The commander of the Lord’s army replied, ‘Take of your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.’  And Joshua did so.  (Joshua 5: 13-15)

 

The message is when we think of God, we should never think of him taking sides.  Our first response is always to worship Him and bow to His will.  Which side are we on?

 

A word about Corey Comperatore.  He was killed while seeking to shield his family from the assassin’s bullets.  At the heart of the story of Jesus there is sacrifice, the ultimate expression of God’s love for humankind: ‘God loved the world so much that he gave his only son . . .’ (John 3: 16).  Those who follow Jesus are called to follow in his steps and consider others to be more important that themselves.  (1 Peter 2: 21).   In other words, to live sacrificial lives.  Jesus said: ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.’ (John 15: 13)

 

We have seen this in Corey Comperatore.  Sacrifice is the supreme expression of true humanity.   Corey made no claims for himself but acted in a way that is in line with God’s will for His people.

 

I started with ‘mystery’ and there it must end.  But when the God I worship is revealed in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus I reckon it to be worthwhile hanging on in faith with all my questions and inadequate understanding.  A friend who has struggled with chronic illness for many years recently shared this prayer on Facebook:

 

‘God, I have no idea what you are doing, but I trust you.’  

Still Quarrying: Go Deep!

 Let’s get one thing straight: I have never warmed to Donald Trump.  Which is a polite way of saying I don’t like him, his style, what he stands for. This has led me to think and say things about him that I have believed are justified, placing them in the category of ’righteous anger’.  But somehow those words and the thoughts and feelings that gave them birth don’t leave me feeling good about myself.  

It's what goes on in a person’s inner life that Jesus is mostly concerned about in that block of teaching that has come to be known as ‘The Sermon on the Mount’.  I have heard this described as ‘a blueprint for living.’  The world would be a better place if we put the Sermon on the Mount into practise. What is often missed is that the qualities and standards of Jesus’ teaching can only become a reality in the lives of men and women by the grace of God.  What is emphasised in Jesus’ teaching is the inner life, and this can only be transformed towards His qualities and standards, indeed His likeness, by the influence of the Holy Spirit.  

Jesus says:

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’

 

 “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell”. (Matthew 5: 21-22)

 

He is not seeking to enter the endless debates of his time as to the exact meaning of the sixth commandment.  He is calling people back to the original intention of the Jewish Law which is the inner transformation of men and women such that they walk closer to God and are mindful of those who share their progress through life.  Jesus cuts through the debates and exposes the core purpose of the Law: ‘Love God and love your neighbour.’  

 

What is startling about this teaching is that it leaves no room for surface politeness and phony tolerance in relation to others.  What do we really feel?  It is our inner being which matters.  It is there that the anger, curses and contempt boil and erupt in harmful words, broken relationships and sometimes physical harm.   Jesus said:

 

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of ther evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”  (Luke 6: 45)

 

We cannot escape Jesus’ declaration that there is such a thing as spiritual murder.  

 

Which brings me back to Donald Trump.  I have never met him.  He has never said or done anything to harm me personally.  But he has stirred up negative thoughts and feelings within me that lead me to Jesus’ teaching and the inescapable challenge of spiritual murder.  Those thoughts and feelings, how are they regarded from the standpoint of eternity?  Am I any better than the would-be assassin? I am clear that there is such a thing as ‘righteous anger’ when directed against exploitation, torture, slavery and anything else that deepens the darkness in the world.  But too often that ‘righteous anger’ has been an excuse, leading to no good for the victims, doing nothing to bring the perpetrators to account, settling in my inner being as the luxury of the armchair pundit.  

 

The way forward when faced with someone whose views and attitudes we deplore is not just to shout at the wireless or the television which in the end changes nothing.  Be sure of what is wrong in what he/she stands for, argue your case, work and pray to perceive what is right and just from the standpoint of eternity.  Remember, followers of Jesus are called to go deep.  

Still Quarrying: Divided Heart.

 To the movies on Saturday to see ‘Back to Black’, the Amy Winehouse biopic. I didn’t go with any great knowledge of her life or music but was drawn to the story, albeit one that is all too familiar of a life ruined, and talent wasted.  She was only 27 when she died of alcohol poisoning after a significant period of sobriety.  

One of the most poignant aspects of the movie is Amy’s relationship with her grandmother who Amy describes as ‘my icon in everything.’  Like her, Amy has a deep yearning for a family of her own and there are several moments when Amy interacts with children with interest and tenderness.  And yet along with this is the ever-present pull towards drugs and alcohol which in effect renders family life beyond her.  

Amy’s was a lifestyle most people would revolt against and yet this divided life between the best of aspirations and dark reality is something we all have to live with to some extent.  It is life’s greatest challenge to be what we want to be.   The Psalmist prays intensely:

‘Teach me your way, Lord, 

that I may rely on your faithfulness.

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name.’   (Psalm 86: 11)  

  

An ‘undivided heart’ that lives entirely according to the way of God. Not according to the darker impulses that lead in another direction.   This diversion was something that the Apostle Paul felt very powerfully even after his most dramatic conversion.  It showed itself in his awareness of the goodness in the Law of God but also in his inability to put it into practise.  Despite the presence of the Holy Spirit in his life, he still possess a ‘sinful nature’, broken, and still with a tendency to work against ‘the way of God’.  

In Romans 7: 14- 20 Paul speaks in anguish of his awareness of what is good and his inability to put it into practise:

‘I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do but what I hate I do.’  (v. 15).  

And:

‘For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want to do but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing . . .” (vv. 18-19) 

Paul ends up by saying there is a kind of Civil War going on within his ‘inner being’ that too often he loses.  His desperate need is to be taken out of this deadly conflict and that is only possible through Christ the Deliverer who through His  grace grants forgiveness and through His Spirit provides the strength to overcome.   Listen to Paul’s cry:

‘What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!’  (vv. 24-25)

It has been my privilege through the years to know men and women who have known the horrors of addiction, destructive of themselves and important relationships, but have come to know the power of the Deliverer.  The struggles may have continued even to the extent of what addicts call a ‘fall’ but in their renewed life, like Paul, they were able to cry out to the Deliverer and to know His strength and His peace. And in sharing his personal Civil War Paul has given us all hope that as we deal with our own compulsive behaviours, in the Holy Spirit there is a way through.

Still Quarrying: Forgiven!

 One of the biggest challenges in the Christian faith is forgiveness.  It is sometimes presented in such a way that if we are the victim of some insult, betrayal, theft or assault our automatic response should be to forgive.  But in practise it is never that easy.  Complications arise. What, for instance, if the person who has caused us such pain does not feel in need of forgiveness?  Their view is we deserved what we got.  Or even more complicated.  A Christian believes that what he/she said to us or did to us, although it has caused us pain, was the right thing and is so recognised in Heaven.  

It can be even more of a challenge, however, to believe that we are forgiven.  It is at the heart of our faith that God through the death of Jesus has dealt with all our sin, but has it really sunk in?  Yesterday I had an idea that I would write down on pieces of paper all those things that trouble me about my past, put them in a bin liner and rejoice to see the binman take it all away to a place I will never know.  But then it occurred to me that I would ever completely wipe out all that stuff from my mind and was never meant to.   John Newton could write about ‘Amazing Grace’ because he was mindful of what he was before he took the story of Jesus to his heart and was grateful that by the grace of God he was given the opportunity to begin again.  

Then think about Mary Magdalene, a faithful follower of Jesus.    Luke tells us that she lived a disturbed life before the turn-around she experienced when she encountered Jesus.  (Luke 8: 1-2) If it was known about her past in the community and the fellowship of believers, it cannot have been very far away from her mind.  

Paul saw himself and all Christians as ‘a new creation’ in Christ but never forgot that he had in the past colluded in the deaths by execution of people in the rising Christian movement.   Peter never forgot that he had denied Jesus.  But all these people could stand up under the weight of past sin because they believed that it no longer defined their lives.  They were no longer just sinners, but sinners renewed in the power of the Holy Spirit.  ‘Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven.’  

The best way forward for us all is to meditate on the powerful images we find in Scripture of what it means to be forgiven.

In his final prayer the prophet Micah says:

‘Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance?  You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.  You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins under foot and hurl all our iniquities into the deaths of the sea.’  (Micah 7: 18-19)

Consider the depths of the sea.  That is the distance of our sins from us.  They may still be there in some unfathomed place, we remember them, but they no longer touch us, they no longer define our lives.  

The Psalmist writes:

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.’  (Psalm103: 11-12)

It’s a powerful image.  God taking charge of our sins and hurling them into the depths of space.  They are ‘removed’ from us.  They may still be there in some unexplored place, we remember them, but they no longer touch us, they no longer define our lives.   

As we approach Holy Week we are invited to ponder the last days of Jesus on this earth and the fulfilment of his mission to make it possible for us to be forgiven, and to be part of a community where the temperature of forgiveness among us is high.  Having been touched by the power of forgiveness in our lives, however much of a challenge it may be, nevertheless it should never be absent from Christian aspiration.  

Still Quarrying: Conditional Goodwill?

 

On the Sunday after Queen Elizabeth died, I opened the morning service at St Paul’s by acknowledging the events of the past week and giving notice that prayers would be said for her family in their sorrow and for the King in particular as he faced new responsibilities and challenges.  In the Children’s Talk I spoke about the Queen’s tea party with Paddington, how she served Paddington that day, how she served the nation through the years, and how we are always blessed by people who give of themselves for the sake of others.  The Scripture tie up was God’s gift to us of Jesus and how Jesus in turn lived a life of giving to those who needed Him most.  

 

That was it really.  Looking back at my sermon notes there were no references to the Queen.  I stuck to my usual task of providing what I hoped was a faithful exposition of a passage of Scripture, on this occasion Psalm 85.

 

The service had even more significance for me.  It was the last time I would celebrate the Lord’s Supper in St Paul’s.  The following Sunday would see my last service before retiring.  To break bread and share wine in memory of our Lord is always a high point in ministry but on this occasion the emotions were even stronger.  

 

The service over, I am at the back of the Church where people are gathered as usual, and  today mindful of how I must be feeling there are hugs and the occasional tears and it’s an effort to keep myself together.  I see a man standing apart from the general huddle.  He says he wants to talk to me.  I don’t know him.  Obviously, a visitor.  And he looks as if he is ready to do battle.  No name is offered.  He introduces himself as a member of a charity that works with the homeless and he is distressed at what he perceived to be the prominence I had given to the Queen in the service.  The wealth and privilege she represents has no relevance to people on the street.  

 

Now you must understand that immediately after a service is not the best time to have a go at a preacher.  Having poured out your soul for well over an hour in prayer and preaching is emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually demanding.  Adrenaline is pumping and weighing on your mind is the question: ‘Did they get the message?’  It’s a kind of maelstrom of the inner being that not even close friends or family members can fully appreciate.  So to have this man suggest that I had departed from my first responsibility to preach the Gospel was hard to take.  

 

I cannot clearly remember how I responded although I did manage to refer to my longstanding involvement with the Preshal Trust in Govan with it’s concern for the marginalised in society.  But in the end, it was all rather defensive and maybe even verging on incoherence.  The look on his face told me that for all the impression I was making I might as well have been stoning him with popcorn.  Needless to say the encounter did not end well.  

 

Monarchy does get people worked up one way or another.  Others just accept it as part of our national life.  It has some surprising supporters.  When former First Minister Alex Salmond was asked if the monarchy would have a role in an independent Scotland he responded: ‘Elizabeth Queen of Scots sounds good to me.’  

 

Personally, my respect for the Queen grew through the years as I learned more of her faith and her deep commitment to serve.  Of all the words spoken and written during the Covid pandemic, her broadcast to the nation ending with the heartfelt hope that ‘we will meet again’ has stayed with me.  Maybe what was happening was a deeper appreciation of the person who cared about those who were bereaved and suffering and who as a Christian she held in her prayers, looking forward in faith to better days.

 

That is something we all have to remember when thinking about the King and his present health challenges.   The Church’s relation to the State has for centuries been a source of controversy and passages of Scripture have been cited to support different and, indeed, opposing views.  What should be remembered by all groups is that human beings make up the machinery of government.  They make mistakes as well as do good, they carry a great weight of responsibility, and therefore stand in need of the prayers of the Christian community.  When governments work at their best justice is pursued, stability maintained, and the sick and vulnerable are a care priority.  It is to those ends that we uphold them in prayer.  When governments depart from those priorities it is a matter of concern, but the prayers continue with the emphasis on change.  It was on this basis that the Confessing Church under the Third Reich prayed for Adolf Hitler.  

 

Many have been the responses to the news of the King’s cancer diagnosis, but it has been sad to read and hear what can only be described as conditional goodwill.  Some have taken this opportunity to express their disagreement with the institution of the monarchy or their dislike of the King personally along the lines of: ‘I disagree with the monarchy but best wishes to the King.’  A man’s cancer is not an opportunity to press personal opinions.  To draw near someone with an expression of goodwill and at the same time maintain a resolute distance seems disingenuous in the extreme.  In the end a man has received the diagnosis we all dread.  What would we like to hear in these circumstances?  

 

Everyone llikes to be called a Good Samaritan but have we really grasped what it means?  It is not just a call to perform ‘good deeds’ but to show a radical,  concern for the  traumatised in society regardless of race and religion, and to allow nothing, not money or inconvenience to come in the way of responding to his need.  The Samaritan was focussed on the person.  Whatever barriers existed between himself and the mugged and wounded Jew were irrelevant.  (Luke 10: 25-37)

 

Remember Jesus did not tell stories just to entertain.  He expected a response.  When a listener had grasped that differences mean nothing in face of suffering and need he said:

 

‘Go and do likewise.’